All The Songs Make Sense
by EllaNight
Summary: A Castle Advent Calendar fic! Each chapter will be a Christmas song inspired one-shot and provide a glimpse into Castle and Beckett's future holiday seasons. All will be set post season 8 and not in any chronological order.
1. White Christmas

**A/N: Happy first of December! I will be updating this story daily. Each chapter will be around 1000 words. I hope you enjoy following Caskett and their family on this holiday season adventure! As mentioned in the description, all chapters were inspired by a Christmas song and not in any chronological order. Thank you for reading and your immeasurable support: it has been a true gift.**

* * *

 _White Christmas_

* * *

"Momma! Momma, quick wake up!" Lily's excited voice rouses her from her slumber and Kate forces her eyes to open despite the enticing pull of sleep. She grins at the sight of her daughter bouncing on her toes next to the bed, a delighted gleam in her eyes. "It's snowing!"

"Really?" she smiles, lifts her eyebrows and gasps in surprise for Lily's benefit.

"Did I just hear someone say it's snowing?" She chuckles at the sound of Castle's voice, still gruff from sleep but his elation mirrors their daughter's. He wastes no time in pushing the comforter from over his body and rising to his feet. Lily squeals and climbs up on the bed occupying the space Castle has just left vacant. She's up on her feet and practically jumps onto him when he opens his arms to her.

"Daddy, we have to start our list!" She wraps her pajama clad legs around Castle's torso, with an arm around his neck to balance herself as he holds her.

"Of course, Lilypad. What else would we be doing?" he scoffs as though there really was no other option and Lily laughs.

Kate pushes up onto her elbows and then uses her palms to bring her body up into a sitting position slowly. God, she feels so bloated. She realizes that may have to do with the fact that she's carrying, not one, but two of Castle's children in her belly. There isn't a day that goes by that she doesn't feel like she's about to burst.

She half expects Castle to zip Lily out into the living room for them to start their annual snow activities bucket list, but she looks up to find him glancing over in her direction while Lily strains her neck to try and see out the window from his arms, silently asking if everything is alright, if she needs anything.

Sweet man. But she's okay, she may be on the verge of exploding but she can still manage to get up from their bed just fine. She nods, tilts her head towards the office, encouraging him to take Lily and start their list, assuring him she's fine. Their silent communication has always been great, but it's become damn near perfect in the three years they've had Lily.

He smiles and she doesn't resist the upward curve of her lips in return. He turns back to Lily, touching his nose to hers and whispering like he's sharing a secret.

"How about we make your Mom some coffee before we start on our list?" The words are loud enough for Kate to hear and she grins. What would she do without him?

She sees Lily nod eagerly from her peripheral vision but she stays quiet, lets them have their secret. As long as she gets her coffee - though it's decaf now because of the pregnancy - she can't complain. Rick scurries out of the room with their daughter in his arms and Kate stretches her legs out in front of her for a couple of seconds before planting her feet to the ground and standing from the bed.

Castle knows she hasn't been getting the best sleep, she's exhausted all the time and he's been great at keeping Lily busy, cooking for the three of them and always looking out for her. She can't help thinking she needs to figure out a way to make it up to him, though she knows he'd probably be furious with her for even thinking that. Hopefully they can do something special all three of them together today with the first fall of snow.

She slips her feet into her favorite comfy slippers Castle had thought to lay out next to her side of the bed and heads toward the office to join them out in the kitchen.

"Momma, Daddy and I made you coffee," Lily exclaims walking towards her holding the steaming cup between her hands.

"You did?" Kate asks, feigning surprise but there's nothing fake about the smile that tugs at her lips when Lily hands her the cup that reads "Best Mommy." It's absolutely cheesy and she knows it was Castle's doing but it was Lily's gift to her for her birthday this year and she's never loved a coffee mug more in her life.

"Yeah! And it's the special kind that's not bad for my brothers in your belly." Kate grins at the information. Castle had gotten into the habit of making Kate's coffee with Lily a little while before she got pregnant. He'd had to explain why Kate's preferred choice of coffee had suddenly changed. Castle had told Lily that decaf kept her brothers safe and since then, Lily has taken pride in preparing the special blend for her mother, knowing she was taking care of her brothers as well.

"That's really thoughtful of you, Lilypad. Thank you," Kate says, accepting the mug from her small hands and bending down to lay a kiss to the top of her head. She takes a sip of the hot beverage, and though it's not her absolute favorite, she still hums as the warm, rich taste hits her taste buds. Castle had found a decaf recipe she'd loved _almost_ just as much as her skim latte with two pumps of sugar free vanilla during her first pregnancy - after trying at least twenty other failed concoctions - and he's still making it (with Lily's help) for her now.

She takes the few remaining steps towards the kitchen to reach him and loops her arms around his waist. "Hey," she greets, looking up at him slightly and he grins back. Her rounded stomach is kind of in the way for him to pull her closer but he's told her repeatedly how much he loves it.

"Hey." She swoops in for a gentle kiss, lingering a tad longer than she normally would when he lays his palm to her cheek, hoping to express her gratitude but all it does is cause Lily to groan in disgust. Kate rolls her eyes when they separate and pecks his lips one last time. "Have you two started on your list yet?" She asks as she moves in Lily's direction and takes a seat at the kitchen counter next to her.

"No, we were waiting for you, Momma," she says, pulling out her colored crayons and handing Kate a sheet of Christmas decorated paper.

"Alright!" Kate starts, accepting the red crayon from Lily's hands and getting ready to start writing. "Are we going to build a snowman?" She proposes.

"Yes!" Her daughter beams, looking over at her father for approval and smiling brightly when he nods enthusiastically. "The biggest snowman in the whole park!"

"Definitely," Kate agrees. "What else?"

"We can make snow angels in too!" Lily suggests.

"Oh, that's a good one," Castle agrees, practically bouncing on his toes now himself. "And when we're done and frozen to the bone, how about we come back home and build a blanket fort?"

Lily cheers and Kate scribbles down their ideas on the piece of paper, smiling down at herself. There's nothing she wouldn't do as long as she has him and Lily and soon their two little boys.


	2. Underneath The Tree

_Underneath The Tree_

* * *

The kitchen is an absolute mess. The counter top is filled with plates and cookie platters, flour, sugar, peanut better, chocolate chips and parchment paper and he knows he won't be able to have it cleaned up in time for when she gets home. Kate sent him a text to let him know she was leaving the office about ten minutes ago and he and the kids had been in the middle of baking Christmas cookies. Actually, they haven't gotten to the baking part yet, they're still working on the dough.

Lily is helping him the most, meanwhile the boys seem to have just discovered how messy flour is.

He sees Reece flick his flour covered fingers at Jake in his peripheral vision and Rick groans, knows exactly how that is the type of behavior that sparks an all-out war.

The next thing he knows, Jake is grabbing a hand full of flour and throwing it at Reece.

"Jake!" Rick calls sternly.

"He started it, Dad!" But Reece retaliates before Castle can get to either of them, throwing back more flour in his brother's direction. He sighs, knows it's too late to stop anything now.

"Daddy, the oven is ready!" Lily calls, stepping down from the stool with a platter filled with cookie dough.

He has to deal with the boys but he can't leave Lily with the oven alone. He walks the few steps back to her and slips on the oven mitts.

"I need you to be really, really careful when you put the pan on one of the racks, okay?" He instructs, making sure Lily is taking this seriously. He wouldn't forgive himself if she burned herself on his watch.

She does as she's told, slips the platter in the oven very carefully and jumps up when she's done.

"Our first batch!" She exclaims and Castle smiles at the pride in her voice. Lily puts her hands up for a high five and he meets her half way.

"So, you remember how long the recipe said they had to be in there?" Rick asks.

"Fifteen to seventeen minutes," his daughter nods.

"Alright, can you start the timer for that, then?"

He turns back to assess where the boys are at once he sees Lily has grabbed the timer and... Are they throwing flour at the Christmas tree?

"Daddy, look, it's snowing!" Reece announces as both he and Jake simultaneously throw flour over the tree set up in their living room.

He should be mad because really, this is ridiculous and they have now brought the mess over to the living room but ... It's kind of adorable.

He knew they were excited. Its Lily's first day off from school for the holidays and he'd promised them they'd bake cookies once their sister could join them. He may have forgotten to factor in that, at four years old, both the twins have a pretty short attention span and baking cookies started to get boring about fifteen minutes in.

He realizes Kate will probably be upset, and with good reason because the floor is now covered in white powder, but they are just so happy, he can't bring himself to scold them.

If anything, he'll pay the price of clean up.

"You're right, that does look like snow," he grins, unable to help it.

"Can I go throw some too?" Lily asks eagerly, already heading in her brothers' direction.

 _Oh, and what the hell_ , he thinks, nodding to Lily, giving her the permission she seeks. Jake hands her the bag of flour and Lily takes a fistful, throwing it at the tree.

"Daddy, you have to help with the top of the tree!" Reece calls over to him with a giddy smile and he can't believe he's willingly participating in this but he lets his son rope him into sprinkling baking flour over their tree as well.

About half a minute later he hears the lock turn in the door and he cringes, looks over at the entryway guiltily.

Kate walks in, unsuspecting and all four of them stall. Though he and Kate always tend to stick together whenever they make decisions, they all know Kate is most often bad cop when it comes to enforcing consequences.

And that's how she finds them, the four of them huddled around the pine tree in their living room, the kids covered in white powder and Rick with a bag of flour in his hands. He feels like a kid who's been caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

She doesn't say anything, her face giving nothing away. Damn, this isn't the first time he's cursed her poker face and he bites down on his bottom lip as he tries to assess how furious she is.

"What's going on here?" she asks, and he can't tell yet by her tone whether or not she's angry.

"We're adding snow to the Christmas tree," Jake speaks up tentatively.

Kate hums, dropping her purse in the entryway, taking off her boots and slipping her jacket from her shoulders. She heads in their direction and none of them move, waiting for her call.

She looks at all three of their children, their clothes, hands and faces all covered in flour but she stops in front of her husband. He looks guilty, like he knows she'll disapprove and he isn't wrong. The place is covered in white, the floor, the couch, the counter top.

But she doesn't miss the way all three of her kids seem to be hiding smiles, how they look unsure, wait for her approval but they secretly hope she won't put a stop to this.

It's not like it can get any worse, right?

Kate lifts the sleeve of her sweater and reaches for the paper bag in Castle's hands. He looks at her with childlike wonder, his eyes sparkling and the smile stretching across his lips.

She's quick when she pulls her hand out of the bag and throws a handful of flour in Jake's direction. "Snow fight!" she announces and the kids squeal and scurry with excitement, picking up flour from the tree and the floor to retaliate.

And not for the first time, Castle finds himself thinking he's got the best wife, ever.


	3. Winter Wonderland

_Winter Wonderland_

* * *

Castle has just finished tying off Jake's skates and it takes his son about half a second to rise to his feet and race to the rink as fast as he can manage despite his unaccommodating footwear.

"Thanks Dad!" He calls behind him as he takes off and Castle shakes his head.

"Be careful, Jake," Kate warns but she knows it's no use running after him, not when she's still working on Lily's skates and hasn't put on her own. She looks over at Castle and rolls her eyes at their son. He's happy not to be the only one she rolls her eyes at anymore; their sons have merited quite a few of their own lately.

"Alright, I think you're all set, Lil," Kate stands up only to take Lily's place on the bench as she grabs her own skates from the bag.

"Can I go catch up with Jake and Reece now?" she asks excitedly and Kate nods.

"Just be careful, okay?"

"Yes, mom." It's Lily's turn to roll her eyes and she hears Castle chuckle beside her as their daughter leaves to join her brothers already on the ice. If she were close enough she'd pinch him for that one.

Kate slips on her skates and just as she's about to grab the laces, another pair of hands beat her to it. She looks up to find Castle kneeling in front of her, tightening and tying her laces for her and she can't help the soft smile the blooms across her lips.

"Whoever said chivalry was dead clearly never met you," she teases and Rick grins up at her.

"I wasn't about to let my wife tie her own neon green skates." Kate laughs, couldn't believe he'd remembered that she'd told him about those skates all those years ago early in their partnership, when she'd opened her Christmas present last year. It had warmed her heart like nothing else, knowing that he still remembered, still cherished those memories like she does.

They take the kids skating at least once a year in December. The ambiance is magical, never fails to set the Christmas spirit and the decorated tree at the Rockefeller center is always magnificent. And this year she can wear her brand-new neon green skates, just like she used to. She knows it's silly but part of her feels closer to her mother like this, like Johanna is out here with them when she looks down at her feet. She has Castle to thank for that.

"Thanks, babe," she whispers when he finishes the last of her laces and she presses her lips to his softly, teases just a bit when she swipes her tongue across his bottom lip, a promise she plans to fulfill later, when they're home and the kids are asleep.

Rick groans when she pulls back, nipping at her bottom lip and it almost has her wishing they could sneak off and ignite the embers he's set in her lower body to a full flame. But their kids are waiting in the rink and she really wants to try out her new skates with him, hold his hand as they make their way around the ice.

"Later," she promises, brushing her lips to the shell of his ear and lacing their fingers together, pulling him towards the entrance. He offers no resistance, wobbles slightly as he follows her lead but they find their rhythm quickly, gliding along the frozen ground. Both of them look around to make sure they can locate all three of their kids, needing the reassurance that they're safe before they go any further. Castle squeezes her hand in his gently when he completes his head count and she turns to face him, grinning happily.

She looks positively adorable in her neon green skates and he kind of wishes he could live in this moment for a while, let it last for as long as possible.

"Mom, look at how fast I can go!" It takes barely a second for the moment to pass when Jake zips past them and she's torn between telling him she's proud and asking him to be careful, to slow down.

She doesn't have to deliberate for too long though because the next thing she knows, her heart climbs out of her chest, thrashing violently as she watches him trip and fall just a few feet ahead of them. Kate lets go of Castle's hand and they both pick up their pace to catch up with him.

"Jake, sweetheart, are you okay?" She asks, crouching down on the ice next to him. The tears start as soon as he looks up at her and the noose around her heart tightens. Kate gathers him up in her arms and runs her hand across his back in soothing motions hoping to calm him. "Can you tell me what hurts?" she prods, gently.

Reece, Lily and Castle are all huddle around them looking equally as concerned.

"My h-hands," he hiccups on a shaky exhale through his tears. Kate nods and reaches for his hands, hoping to assess the damage.

His palms are bright pink when she pulls up his thin gloves and she has a feeling they absorbed most of the impact of his fall. He was lucky he didn't hit his head.

"Can you move your fingers and wrists for me?" Kate asks, just to make sure that nothing is broken. Jake looks skeptical and absolutely terrified to follow her request but he tries nonetheless. He whimpers a little but she lets out a slow exhale when both of his wrists rotate and his fingers flex.

"It hurts, Momma" he says, his voice barely above a whisper and he hides against Kate's neck.

"I know it does, honey. You took a pretty nasty fall." Jake nods against her and she realizes they are still in the middle of the rink. "Do you think you can make it back to the entrance of the rink with me? We aren't in a very safe place right now."

She and Castle help Jake up to his feet and they accompany him back to the benches. She manages to convince Castle to go back out on the ice and look after Reece and Lily. They hadn't even had time to enjoy a full half hour of skating yet. He's reluctant to leave them but in the end, he agrees, ruffling Jake's hair and promising to see them later.

"What do you say you and I get some hot chocolate, in the mean time?" Kate offers and Jake pipes up immediately.

After having his hot chocolate, it barely takes five minutes for Jake to start begging her to go back out on the ice to meet his brother and sister.

"That wasn't too long a recovery?" Castle enquires when she catches up to him again, sliding her arms around his waist.

"Must be the magic of Christmas," she smiles and shrugs, doesn't really need more explanation than that.

"Or just you," he counters, laying a kiss to her cheek before she can roll her eyes.


	4. I Want A Hippopotamus for Christmas

_I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas_

* * *

"I can't believe you got her all of this," Kate says, shaking her head though she can't hide the grin the tugs at the corner of her lips.

"Hey, it's not my fault! How was I supposed to know reading her that story would get her obsessed with Hippopotamuses? Is that how it's even said when it's plural?" Rick squints his eyes, thinking about it a little too hard for a minute.

"I don't know, babe. You're the grammar expert," Kate chuckles but Castle shrugs.

"Have you ever read the word Hippopotamus in a single one of my novels?"

"Fair point," she concedes, pulling a box off the shelf to put in the hippopotamus plush. It's all Lily has been talking about for the past two months. She's been reading up on all things concerning the hippopotamus, claiming it's now her favorite animal and now, getting a hippopotamus is at the very top of her Christmas list this year.

Castle offered to swap that for a pony but Lily would have none of it. And both he and Kate know this is just about the only thing he can't get his daughter for Christmas, even with his kind of money and resources. It's been driving him nuts. So instead of getting the real thing, Castle has settled on buying just about everything he can find with a Hippopotamus on it.

They're wrapping Christmas presents together on her day off while the kids are in school and, she has to say, she's actually a little impressed by everything he's managed to find.

There's the hippopotamus plush she's just finished wrapping, some pajama bottoms with hippopotamuses printed on them, a writing journal with a hippopotamus on the cover and a hippopotamus coloring book.

And that's all she's seen so far because he's still rummaging in the back of their closet where they hide all the kids' presents to find everything else he's bought.

"Castle, where did you even find all of this?"

He pokes his head out of the closet and emerges with a box from amazon. "A lot of online shopping," he sighs.

"Babe, what's wrong?" Kate asks, folding the wrapping paper over the box and placing a tape over it to hold it all together before turning towards him. "You know she's going to love all of this, right?"

"I just... I can't believe she found something I couldn't give her." He frowns, his eyes downcast. She wants to laugh because asking for a hippopotamus for Christmas is just about the most ridiculous thing she's ever heard of, but she can see it's truly troubling him.

"I know you want her to be happy and I promise you she will be. She can't possibly have thought she'd get a _real_ hippopotamus. This is all more than enough. Not to mention, Santa has a _toy_ factory, he's not in the business of gifting live animals," she tries to reason with him and she gets a small lift of his lips for her efforts.

"You really think this will make her happy?" Kate rolls her eyes at the question because she's certain Lily will be over the moon. Hell, their daughter would have been happy with some chocolate and a pair of socks. They both know she isn't difficult to please at all.

"I do," Kate tries to appease him, moving in closer and wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Good," he grins and presses his smile to hers. Her hands tangle in his hair and he pulls a moan from her when his tongue traces her bottom lip. His fingers tighten at her waist at the sound and he groans, the flame of desire licking at his insides, burning him from within.

They took full advantage of their morning alone, as they dropped the kids off to school and he managed to convince her to follow him back to bed when they arrived back at the loft. After a solid two hours of what he'd qualify as pure bliss and reveling in the fact that they didn't have to keep their voices down, she'd tugged on his hand and pulled him up from their bed, insisting that they still had a lot of work to do.

They'd prepared lunches for the rest of the week and spent the last hour wrapping presents for everyone in their family. They are now almost done with Lily's and he wants to say this was a pretty productive day. They definitely deserve a break.

And he knows exactly what he wants to do as they set aside their parental responsibilities. He has a feeling she shares a similar thought when she tangles her tongue with his and hikes her leg up to his hip, bringing his lower body down to meet hers.

He knows she's on board when she doesn't even protest as he lifts her up from the ground and into his arms, carries her right to their bed.

"Not in the mood for wrapping presents, Castle?" she teases, a little breathless as he nips at the skin of her neck. He hums and Kate shivers as the vibrations ripple along her bare flesh.

"I want to unwrap mine right now."

* * *

When Lily opens up her presents on Christmas morning, her eyes are alight with pure joy.

"Santa knew my favorite animal was the hippo!" She exclaims, hugging the plush to her chest. She looks a little ridiculous with a ton of miscellaneous present all around her with only one thing in common: they all have to do with the hippopotamus somehow. "This is the best Christmas ever!"

She looks equally as happy as Jake with his bike (he's been begging to learn without any training wheels this spring) and Reece with the biggest telescope they could find.

"See," Kate whispers in Rick's ear as they sit on the couch, sipping their morning coffee while the kids enjoy marveling over their presents. "I told you she'd be happy."

"Hmm, I should listen to you more often," he muses and Kate pinches his side. Rick flinched at the touch but laughs a second later, pulling her closer to him. So long as she, their three children and Alexis are happy, he really couldn't ask for anything else.


	5. Grown Up Christmas List

_Grown Up Christmas List_

* * *

"Daddy?" Lily asks when Jake and Reece stop bantering and fall quiet at the table. She's been silent all afternoon and they didn't want to push her to talk but Kate has been a bit worried that something happened.

"Yeah, Sweetie?" He answers, giving her his undivided attention.

"You have a lot of money, right?" Kate nearly chokes on the bite of potatoes she's just taken and she sees Rick glance at her, not so sure what to answer. They don't talk about money very much. As much as he'd love to spoil his kids, he knows Kate is right whenever she reels him back in and insist that he should be moderate.

"We've been really fortunate, your mom and I," Castle answers, reaching across the table and lacing his hands through Kate's. He always says he owes half of his fortune to her for her inspiration of Nikki Heat but she knows that isn't true. He was loaded way before she ever entered the picture.

"What does fortunate mean?" Reece asks, his brow furrowing. The twins have just started school this year and Reece has been especially interested in his classes and his learning. Jake has been more preoccupied with the social crowd. Even at five years old, he's apparently made quite the impression as "the cool kid."

"It means we've been really lucky," Kate fills in for Reece and Lily nods.

"Why do you ask, Lilypad?" Their daughter looks down at her plate, nudging the food around with her fork but she hasn't eaten much.

"Well it's just that... my friend Jennifer, she didn't bring a lunch to school this week. She said that her parents don't have a lot of money right now and so she skips lunch. I don't know how much money we have but I thought maybe we could help."

Rick's heart tightens in his chest and he looks over at Kate to find her looking at him with a sad smile. He squeezes her hand, still in his, softly. They've raised a good kid.

"How about this," Kate starts and Lily perks up, waiting for her suggestion. "What if you packed an extra lunch and brought it to Jennifer at school?"

"We could do that?" Lily beams, her face lighting up with a smile.

"Of course," Rick chimes in. "It's really kind of you to want to help her, Lily. I'm sure she'll be very grateful."

"I hope so. As long as she has something to eat." She takes a bite of her supper, her spirits lifting visibly. "Thank you," she adds, looking between her mom and dad.

"It's no trouble, sweetheart," he reassures her, extending his hand to run his fingers through her hair softly. He's so proud of her. "You can always come to us for help. For anything or anyone. You know that, right?" Lily nods and Castle turns to the boys. "That goes for all of you."

"Yeah, Dad. We know," Jake chimes in.

"Good," he says, turning to Kate who looks at him with proud eyes. They've raised a good family.

* * *

Later that night, after homework and story time, when they've all brushed their teeth, Kate tucks in Lily for bed, lays a kiss to her forehead and wishes her a good night's sleep.

"Momma?" Lily asks seconds before Kate is about to turn off the lights. It tugs at her heartstrings. She's started calling her "Mom" lately and she knew this was coming soon, with Lily turning nine this year, but she still thinks of her as her little girl. "Do all the kids really get presents at Christmas?"

Oh, sometimes she wishes their daughter wasn't so smart, that she could keep her sheltered for a little longer. But she's always been just as rational as Kate and she's obviously started connecting the dots from their conversation during supper, from what she's seen at school.

Kate forgoes closing the light and moves back to Lily's bed, taking a seat when she scooches to make room. "What do you mean?" Kate asks, doesn't want to ruin the magic of Christmas if she doesn't have to just yet. "If people have nothing to eat, wouldn't Santa bring them food instead of toys if that's what they need most?"

She might still be able to save this if she plays her cards right. Kate wishes Castle were here to answer Lily's questions, he's the master story teller after all, but she has learned a few tricks from her husband over the years.

"Well," Kate starts, brushing a strand of Lily's hair behind her ear. "Santa only has his toy factory, where he works year-round with his elves. But, you're right, Christmas isn't just about toys and gifts, it's about the spirit. Santa knows that, and he's counting on us to keep it alive."

"But how?" Lily asks, her eyes wide with intrigue, desperate to understand.

"There are different ways. Reminding the people in your life that you love them is one," Kate supplies.

"But what about everyone? What about people who don't have anyone?"

Kate smiles down at her little girl. Castle would probably disagree with her on this but she's always thought Lily's heart is just as big as his. They are both so generous, so loving.

"It depends. Some people volunteer to help others out, all year round but at Christmas time too. There are groups who visit elderly homes and soup kitchens for the homeless, for example."

"Could we go to one of those too? To help people who have no one to remind them they love them?" The eagerness in her voice tugs at Kate's heart.

"Yeah, sweetheart, we can go if you want," she answers with a smile. It's in moments like these that Kate realizes she and Castle have accomplished something great, that they'll one day be leaving the world in good hands with people like Lily and Jake and Reece to take over.

"Thanks Momma." Kate bends down to give her a final kiss goodnight.

"Like Daddy said, you can always ask us anything."

"I know."

"Okay," Kate says, stands to her feet and rearranges Lily's covers around her. "Sleep tight my Lilypad."

"Until tomorrow, Momma." Kate's lips curl upward at the hopeful phrase Castle whispers to their daughter every night when he tucks her in.

She eases the door shut behind her and Kate doesn't notice Castle standing there until he reaches for her arms and tugs her into a hug, his arms coming around her waist and holding her tight. Kate has a feeling he heard most of the conversation she just had with Lily and she lets herself fall into him, her own arms banding around him.

"I'm so proud of her," Castle whispers into her hair and she squeezes him tighter.

"She's a really special girl."


	6. Santa Claus is Coming to Town

_Santa Claus is Coming to Town_

* * *

This isn't the first time the kids are going to see Santa at the mall, but the three of them are a bundle of excitement, bouncing around in the car and Castle has to turn around more than once to ask them to stay calm.

Once they enter the shopping establishment, he notices Reece doesn't seem to be as ecstatic as the Jake and Lily though, lagging behind his siblings slightly. Castle signals Kate, encouraging her to go ahead with Jake and Lily while he takes some time to talk things through with Reece.

"Hey, my man," he says, ruffling his hair slightly when he falls into step beside him. "Everything going okay?"

Reece stops walking to look up at him and he can see the emotion swimming in his eyes. The shopping center is loud, boisterous with activity all around them given the festivities and Rick extends his hand to his son, pulling him towards the side where he finds a bench for them to talk.

"What's on your mind?" He asks once they've pulled away from the swarm of people.

"Santa really knows everything, doesn't he?" Reece inquires wearily, biting down on his bottom lip nervously, a habit he's taken from Kate, no doubt.

Castle nods and he thinks he's starting to see where this might be coming from. If Reece believes he's about to sit down with the man who knows all about his deepest darkest secrets, that might be intimidating.

He sees Reece's chin start to tremble and the tears start to form behind his eyes when he looks up at his father.

"I got a C on my math test last week," he blurts, visibly ashamed, haunted by it and Rick has to resist the urge to chuckle. If getting a C on his second-grade math test is the secret he's afraid Santa will know about, Castle thinks he and Kate did a pretty good job.

"Jake begged me to help him with his English assignment and I didn't have time to study. I thought I would still do well. I didn't tell you and Mom about it because I was too scared you'd be mad. And now Santa is going to know and I won't get any presents for Christmas. I'll be on the naughty list."

Rick knew there had to be some kind of correlation with them coming here. But he isn't upset. Not in the slightest. Hell, Castle himself has gotten a lot worse than C's in his academic career. He really doesn't need his children to know about his horrible track record. But he also wants Reece to know he shouldn't be afraid to share this kind of stuff with them.

"I'm not upset about you getting a C." Reece looks up at him, hope gleaming in his eyes that his father will understand. "But I'm sad you thought you couldn't tell me and your Mom."

"I'm sorry." Reece looks back down to his lap, the frown back in place.

"I know. But you know, you're right, Santa _does_ know everything," Rick starts and Reece looks up, his brow furrowed. "Which means he also knows you did poorly on your math test because you were helping your brother out."

Reece considers it, the wheels spinning in his head as he starts to put all the information together. "Do you think Santa could forgive me?" He asks, shy but hopeful.

"I think Santa is very forgiving, especially when your intentions weren't bad at all."

"Really?" He jumps up from his seat on the bench, the excitement back in his eyes.

Rick nods and Reece grabs his hand quickly, pulling him in the direction Kate, Lily and Jake took as they headed to meet Santa. They practically jog all the way to the line and Rick is grateful Reece took hold of his hand because he's afraid he would have lost him in the sea of people at the mall today. They easily spot Kate in line and move in to join them. Rick gives an apologetic smile to the woman waiting in back of them, as they are technically cutting in line but she doesn't seem to be too upset.

"Hey," Kate greets them as they slip under the black tape that demarcates the line, combing her hand through Reece's hair but she quickly turns to Rick. "Everything okay?"

"Had to sort out a few things but I think we're back on track." He moves in to press his lips to her cheek, loves how much she cares about all of their kids. She nods, understands that this might not be the place to talk about what happened with Reece, especially when they have two sets of young prying ears close by. She trusts him to have helped out their son to the best of his ability and that they'll talk about it later, when they're back home.

"Momma, it's almost our turn!" Jake turns to her, bouncing on his toes as he sees an elf approach in their direction. Kate smiles widely for him, sharing his excitement and she tilts her head to the side when one of Santa's helpers walks up to them.

"Hey, there!" the lovely elf bends down to Lily, Jake, and Reece's level. "My name is Emily and I've been working with Santa all year. He told me he was really excited for you to visit."

"He knew we were coming to see him today?" Jake asks, surprise brightening his eyes.

"He sure did," Emily the elf confirms with a wink.

Kate leans into Rick, his arms coming around her shoulders as they watch their kids let themselves be entertained by the elf, completely wrapped up in the spirit of Christmas.

"Did Rudolf guide his sleigh to bring him here?" Lily pipes in but the elf shakes her head.

"He has to rest up for the big night. Prancer and Dancer came with him today." Rick does his best to contain his amusement, hides his smile against Kate's hair. Emily really has an answer for everything and their three children are eating it all up. By the time the elf leads them to meet Santa, Rick and Kate stay behind, sending encouraging smiles their way. They take turns talking and taking pictures with the old white bearded man and run back in their parents' direction when it's all over.

"Dad!" Reece races straight towards him and Rick bends down to accept the hug. "You were right," he whispers in his ear and Castle grins. "He said I wasn't on the naughty list!"


	7. All I Want for Christmas is You

_All I Want for Christmas is You_

* * *

"Castle could you help with my zipper?" she asks, her voice tight and he can hear the frustration in her tone, knows she's cursing her body for needing any kind of help. The precinct is having a Christmas party and everyone insisted they be there, despite the fact that it hasn't been so long since they were both shot by Caleb Brown in their own kitchen.

They've been staying at her place most of the time, unable to face the trauma that comes with being at the loft, how the sight and the smell brings them both right back to that moment.

He's just finished buttoning up his own shirt when Kate calls to him and he heads out of the bathroom to meet her. Their bodies aren't still completely recovered, Kate's a little worse than his given the fact that it's the second time her body has had to undergo the stress of a gunshot wound. And she was shot twice. The thought of it still has bile rising up his throat, though it's gotten easier to deal with it now, to reassure himself that they're both alive. All it takes is one look at her, especially when he looks down to her slightly rounded stomach pulling the material of the dress more tightly around her middle. He's never seen her look more gorgeous.

She's carrying their child.

"Castle," the sound of her voice snaps him out of his daze and when she looks up she's quirking a single brow in his direction.

"Sorry," he chuckles, stepping forward and grabbing the zipper at the base of her spine.

With her dress open like this, the V of the zipper leaves so much of her soft skin unconcealed and he has half a mind to ask her to forego the party and stay in for the night, let him peel this dress off of her before she even completely has it on. But he knows she's been looking forward to this, to their lives feeling normal again, out with the boys, Lanie, Captain Gates and the rest of the twelfth precinct's homicide squad.

So, he pulls the zipper up the length of her spine and allows his lips to brush softly against the back of her neck, refrains from nipping at her skin with his teeth because he knows what that does to her.

She spins in his embrace, a mischievous look in her eyes. "Don't start anything you don't plan to finish, Mr. Castle," she warns, but it doesn't quite hit the mark when she smiles so brightly at him.

"I'm not," he assures her, feigning innocence. But he can't help the way his eyes darken when she bites down on her bottom lip. "Just giving you a small taste of the things I think of doing to you when you wear this dress."

Kate laughs, presses her lips to his for an all too brief moment before she slips her hands into his and leads him out of her bedroom. "Come on, we're going to be late."

* * *

The party is in full swing, the place that's been rented out for the occasion has dimmed lighting but Christmas lights everywhere to brighten the room, a large and extravagantly decorated Christmas tree in the center of the floor, and some garlands hanging from the ceiling.

She's done her fair share of dancing with Lanie for the night but she's afraid her feet can't take it any longer, her body weak and failing her as it so often does these days. Kate leans her back against the open doorway, taking a moment to rest and she allows herself to slip out of her heels. Her feet feel bloated and sore but she can't bring herself to curse the pain, not when she knows it's most probably from the small life growing inside her.

Her hands come to rest on the small bump at her abdomen, sweeping her thumbs in soothing motions. She looks up to the bright Christmas tree and it has her craving a new kind of normal, has her yearning to wake up to see two pairs of excited bright blue eyes on Christmas morning, her husbands and their child. Lately she's started to imagine that they belong to a little girl.

"What are you thinking about?" Castle creeps up from behind her, slides his arms around her middle until his fingers slip between hers, covering her belly.

She grins and turns her head to plant a kiss along his jaw.

"Just that Christmas is probably going to look very different in a couple of years," she says, squeezing his fingers in hers. Kate feels his smile grow against her temple and he hums.

"Probably going to look like total chaos," he grins. "The kids will be running around everywhere, the kitchen will be a mess from baking cookies for Santa and there's probably nothing you'll want more than a few extra hours of sleep."

"You're doing a really poor job at turning me into a baby person, Castle." She turns her head to look at him again, quirking a brow in challenge but his smile doesn't dim.

"I wouldn't trade that picture for the world, not matter how chaotic. You and this child, it's ... It's all I want, Kate. All I've wanted for a really long time."

She spins in his arms to look at him and the sincerity in his eyes makes her heart flutter, her pulse beat a little faster.

"Me too, Castle."

She holds her palms at his chest because lifting her arms up over her head still feels uncomfortable, but that doesn't stop her hands from fisting in the front of his shirt and pulling him towards her. He touches his lips to hers reverently, a soft touch at first but as the bump of her stomach grazes his abdomen a jolt runs through him, reminding him of everything they've been through, everything they've survived together to get to this moment right here. He pulls her in closer, his hands banding around her waist possessively as his tongue tangles with hers. A soft moan makes it past her lips and he swallows it whole, revels in the way her body still reacts to his.

Esposito wolf whistles in the back ground and if they weren't at the precinct party he damn well might have punched him for interrupting this moment.

But Kate is still smiling when she separates from him, a pink hue to her cheeks at the slight embarrassment of getting caught, though he sees no trace of regret in her eyes. God, he's so excited to be starting a family with this woman.


	8. Something About December

_Something About_ _December_

* * *

"Momma, can I ask you something?" Kate turns from the brewing coffee machine, expecting only to see Reece, but finds three pairs of eyes looking up at her instead.

"Sure, sweetheart. You know you can always ask me anything," Kate responds easily. She's always told her kids that no matter what it is or in how much trouble they think they'll get, she would always prefer for them to trust her with the information than for them to keep things from her or Castle. He looks unsure, a little shy and she notices neither Jake nor Lily meet her eyes. "What's going on, guys?" She pushes, starts to get worried when none of them seem to want to answer.

Reece turns to his older sister, still a lot shorter than her at three years old and he tugs lightly on the hem of her shirt, clearly trying to get her to speak up for him.

Kate sees her daughter sigh but she doesn't seem to be upset with Reece, only uncomfortable.

"Well, it's just… Every year around Christmas time, sometimes you get a little sad and you disappear for an afternoon. And Daddy told me once that it's because you miss Grandma Jo." Kate feels her heart start to pound against the cage of her chest, her pulse beating through her veins and her eyes start to sting. She doesn't need her children to see her cry like this though.

Kate bends her knees and crouches down to their level, looking between the three of them who glance up at her curiously.

"Daddy's right. I still miss her all the time. And sometimes at Christmas it gets a little bit harder because I know that she would have loved to spend time with all of you," she explains, the corners of her lips lifting in a sad smile. It's the truth. She knows without a shadow of doubt that Johanna would have loved to spend the holiday season with her grandchildren, taking them skating to the Rockefeller center like she used to take Kate or baking cookies on a chilly afternoon.

She's never let it drown her, never let the sharp ache in her chest rob her of the joys of Christmas her family offers, but she does allow herself one day. One day to go see her mother and tell her all about how fast Lily, Jake and Reece are growing up, how she never thought she could ever be this happy.

Lily nods in understanding and the boys look at her with a glimmer of hope in their eyes she doesn't quite understand.

"We were wondering if maybe… If it would be okay for us to come with you, this year? To see Grandma Jo." Her daughter's voice is timid, as though she fears Kate will refuse. She'd done her best to keep her tears from falling but there's no stopping the dam that opens at Lily's soft request. Kate has told her kids all about the grandmother they've never known, she's always wanted them to know about Johanna, how fiercely she would have loved all of them. They've seen pictures and flipped through photo albums Jim has brought over on rare occasions, but Kate has never taken them to where her mother's ashes rest, never thought it would be something they would want. And really, she would rather they thought of the woman they saw in the pictures as opposed to an engraved slab of stone when they thought of their grandmother. But this… This touches her more than she'd ever expected.

"We're sorry, Momma." Jake speaks up, taking a few steps in her direction. "We didn't mean to make you cry." Kate laughs and wipes the tears from her cheeks quickly.

"I'm not sad, sweetheart. I know it looks like I am but I'm actually really, really happy." Kate drops down to her knees and opens her arms wide. "I need a group hug."

All three of her kids rush into her arms, and she holds on tight, doesn't know what she's done to deserve such amazing children but she wouldn't change them for anything in the world. She lays a kiss to each of their heads and then looks up when they take a step back. "I would love for you to come with me to visit Grandma Jo."

"Really?" Lily asks hopefully and Kate nods, a watery smile spreading across her lips.

"Of course. Any time you ever want to see her, you can always let me know, okay?" She looks from Reece, to Jake and to Lily, making sure they know this is true for any of them.

"Hey, did I miss out on a group hug?" Castle asks, feigning hurt as he comes out of the office still in his pajamas. Kate chuckles and opens her arms wider, inviting him into their hug and the kids giggle when he squeezes them all tight, pretending to use every ounce of strength he has. He looks at Kate over the top of their children's heads and silently asks if everything is alright. She nods, and her smile is all the answer he needs.

* * *

Part of her had been scared to bring Lily, Jake and Reece over to see her mother, only because she hadn't wanted to taint what little thoughts they have of her. All they know is what she and their Grandpa Jim have told them, always happy things. But coming here is a reminder that she's gone, that no matter how much Kate knows her mother would love to be a part of their lives, she can't. The crisp December air chills her lungs as she opens the car door and takes a deep breath, willing herself to keep it together.

Castle must sense her nerves and he takes a hold of her gloved hand when they step out of the car and head towards the cemetery. She looks over at him, a grateful smile lining her lips and he tilts his head for her to look in front of her once they reach her mother's grave. Her heart seizes in her chest at the sight of Lily placing one of her drawings on the ground next to Johanna's tomb stone with a rock over it to keep it from flying away in the breeze… She should have had more faith that her kids would manage to make this special too.

"Hi Grandma, Jo," Jake says as though she's really there in front of him. "Lily and Reece brought you drawings but mine really aren't as good so I brought something else. It's a sculpture I made with my favourite play-doh," he explains as he places it down next to the drawing Reece made.

Kate lets her head fall to Castle's shoulder, breathes in the comforting scent of home. She isn't sure if it's the Christmas spirit or just her kids but Kate finds herself thinking that maybe they can make happy memories that involve her mom here, too.


	9. Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree

_Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree_

* * *

"Daddy, is it true you were naked on a police horse once?" Jake asks and Castle nearly chokes on the sip of coffee he'd just taken, his eyes wide as he looks down at his son and then glances over to Kate who is standing right beside him, doing her best to hold in her laughter but failing miserably.

"You told the kids about that?" he stage-whispers, not answering Jake's question, but his wife lifts up her hands, pleading innocent. The loft is alive with Christmas music, the massive pine tree finally up in the living room and they just finished taking out all the ornaments, garlands and decorations.

"I did no such thing," she insists and he's about to ask who else would be telling their kids about the misconducts typed up on his rap sheet when it hits him, can't believe he didn't think this was her doing before accusing Kate.

"Mother," Castle calls, interrupting Martha's conversation with Lily and Reece who seem to have taken a break from decorating the Christmas tree to listen to what their grandmother has to say.

"Not now, darling, I'm in the middle of recounting your scandalous tale of-"

"Actually, I think it's exactly the time, Mother." He gives her a stern look, what he hopes is an effective glare because he really doesn't need his kids knowing about … well the list of scandalous things he's done which he doesn't want his children knowing about is a pretty long one but that's not the point.

"Oh, Richard, you have to learn to laugh about these things, it's good for the soul."

He's about to protest, or cover Lily's ears in a last-ditch attempt to salvage her innocence from being soiled by his mother's words but Jim Beckett speaks up before his Mother has the chance to continue.

"Actually, I know a few scandalous stories about your Mom, too," Jim reveals, and although Rick knows full well the words were intended for Lily and Reece, his curiosity is piqued. Oh, he knows it's hypocritical but he so badly wants to hear this he's powerless to stop it. "So. there was this one time, your Grandma Johanna and I told your Mom she wasn't allowed to leave her room because she was grounded. But your Mom, she didn't take orders very well. She tried to sneak out, to slip out her window so that we would never know she left the house. The only thing is, her room was on the second floor and when she tried to climb down the side of the house, she tripped and ended up breaking her arm."

Lily gasps and Reece holds his arm as if he's afraid of the pain he can only imagine, having never broken a bone himself. Even Castle has to wince a little at the thought. That must have hurt like hell.

"That's not scandalous, Dad. It was pathetic. And I can't believe you just told them that."

Jim shrugs. "I couldn't let your kids believe Rick was the only one with scandalous stories to hide." Kate's father winks at Castle. Even after having three kids with the man's daughter, it never ceases to amaze him that Jim Beckett likes him, even when he knows about all the crazy things he's done.

"Momma, why would you try to sneak out like that?" Lily asks, sounding appalled.

"Because I was angry and I wanted to get back at my parents. But I ended up paying for it pretty bad," Kate explains, doing her best to spin it in a way that's not going to inspire their own kids to rebel against them. "Not to mention, I had a lot of work to do to get back on Santa's nice list for Christmas," she adds for good benefit, doesn't want her kids to think they can get away with something like that.

Lily and Reece nod, and Kate smiles, so very glad her children aren't half as bad as she was. Though they haven't reached the teenage years, so she still has reason to be worried.

"Don't worry, kiddos. Your Grandpa Jim and I have plenty of stories about your parents for another day," Martha winks, making the kids giggle as they turn back towards the tree to hang up more ornaments.

"Grandpa Jim, could you help me hang this one up high?" Reece asks and Jim doesn't hesitate, lifting up from the couch and picking up his grandson in his arms. Reece laughs as Jim pretends he's an airplane, flying him around the Christmas tree.

"Here, here, Grandpa! This is the perfect branch." Jim listens to his order, holds him up in the air high enough for him to reach the branch he wanted and he hangs the crystal red ball in the tree. He sets Reece down on his feet and then examines his grandson's handiwork.

"You're right, little man. It looks good up there." Reece smiles at the praise, his ears turning a slight pink.

"Grandpa, I want to be an airplane too!" Jake begs, tugging on his pants to grab his attention and Kate can see how happy her father is to oblige. He picks Jake up the same way he did Reece and chases Lily as she walks around the Christmas tree with gold garlands, imitating motor noises and making both of them laugh.

"Your Dad is always so great with them," Rick whispers in her ear as he wraps his arms around her from behind and lays a kiss to her cheek.

"Yeah, he is." Kate smiles. She watches as her father manages to entertain all three of their kids at once, a pretty challenging feat. "He never really had the chance to raise boys."

"He's just as amazing with Lily, though, so it can't just be the boys," Castle counters, resting his chin atop her shoulder. "You think we should ask him how he does it?"

"I don't know, I'd say we've managed pretty well so far, don't you think?" Kate asks rhetorically, turning her head to steal a kiss from his lips. He hums, nodding in agreement as he kisses her back.

"Oh, Lily, dear, I didn't get the chance to tell you about the time Richard tried to start a campfire in the bath tub," Martha starts, eager to recount the story despite the fact that she didn't find it entertaining at all when he was thirteen and set the shower curtain on fire.

"Mother!"


	10. Mistletoe

_Mistletoe_

* * *

"Wow, Mom. You look really nice," Reece says with wide eyes when she comes out of the office and her heart warms a little at her son's words.

"Thank you, sweetheart," she presses a quick kiss to the top of his head and walks the short distance to the closet by the door to grab her heels.

"I still don't understand why you won't bring us with you," Jake pouts, still upset that both she and Castle insisted that they needed a babysitter and Kate rolls her eyes. Really, he should be thankful Alexis could make it and that they didn't need to call a stranger they didn't know. Usually, she would have had no problem leaving them home alone for an evening if Lily were here but she had been invited to a sleep over party. Lily is fifteen and she trusts that if ever something were to happen in the short time they were gone that she'd know what to do. But her boys are barely in their teens and she'd needed some reassurance that they were safe. She didn't want to spend the whole night wondering if they'd set the loft on fire or if they'd hurt themselves somehow.

The doorbell rings just as she slips on her heels and Kate opens the door for Alexis.

"You look stunning, Kate," Alexis comments as soon as she sees her and Kate feels the warmth creep up her cheek, pulls Castle's daughter into a hug. Alexis is in her thirties now but it's hard to remember she isn't a child anymore.

"Thank you," she answers, letting Alexis in.

"Hey, guys," she greets, waving over to the boys who sit at the kitchen counter.

"Alexis!" Jake jumps from the stool and rushes over to his oldest sister for a hug, forgetting all about the fact that he was upset a minute ago over someone coming over to look after him and Reece.

She sees Rick walk out of the office a few moments later and she can't help but appreciate how handsome he looks, and still ruggedly so.

They've been invited to the Mayor's charity ball for the evening what with Kate being Senator and Castle being a well-known public figure. They decided to make sort of a date out of it, seeing as they don't get much alone time these days. For some reason, she'd always thought that once the kids hit their teenage years they'd be out of the loft as often as they could manage. It turns out that even when they aren't home, they still end up having to be driven around everywhere around the city, whether it be for Jake's soccer games, Reece's karate practices or Lily's basketball. She's one of the tallest girls in her class and she discovered pretty early how fast she could be.

Kate has to admit, she and her Dad are a bit disappointed none of them have wanted to join baseball yet. Maybe someday.

She's lost in her thoughts and doesn't notice Castle making his way behind her. "How about we skip the party and I book us a room at the Four Seasons instead?" he whispers in her ear, his breath tickling her skin, his scent engulfing her. He makes an enticing offer and she grins, can't say she doesn't consider it but she has responsibilities and people are expecting her to show up at this event.

"You know I can't," she says, turning in his arms and lacing her arms around his neck. "But maybe if the boys are asleep when we get back..." she lifts a brow suggestively and Castle's eyes sparkle, his gaze drifting down to her lips-

"Ewww!" Jake calls out, just like he does every single time he sees them even close to kissing.

Castle groans, shaking his head and Kate chuckles. This is exactly why they need a night to themselves. They separate reluctantly and Rick moves to hug his daughter.

"Thank you so much for coming over, Pumpkin." Alexis shakes her head, insists it was no trouble at all.

Castle holds her coat out to her once they make it to the door and wish the three of them a good night, hugging them tight before they leave.

When the door closes behind then, Castle laces her fingers with his and pulls her back before she can head towards the elevator.

"You look absolutely beautiful, by the way," he comments, brushing one of the loose strands of her hair behind her ear. Sometimes he wonders how on earth he got so lucky.

"You look rather dashing yourself, Castle."

She's about to tug him towards the elevator but Castle resists, pulls her in a bit closer and lifts his eyes up to the ceiling. Kate follows his gaze and chuckles when she finds a piece of mistletoe conveniently hanging from over the door. When she looks back down he's grinning, that soft smile he only ever wears for her or his children.

"You put that up there purposefully, didn't you?" Kate asks, lifting a single brow at the question but she raises her arms and sifts her fingers through the short hair at his nape.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Castle says, not the least bit convincing.

But she doesn't care. She loves this man and how silly he is, how festive he gets and how he puts up mistletoe above their door despite the fact the he knows he doesn't need any excuse to kiss her.

She doesn't need to reach up on her toes now that she's in her heels and she lays her lips over his, nipping softly at his bottom lip when his hands tighten in her hair. Rick groans at the scratch of her nails at the base of his skull and she takes the opportunity to seek his tongue, caress it with hers.

Having a mild, impromptu make out session under the mistletoe with her husband before their party might not have been the best of ideas because it only takes a few seconds for her to get worked up, for his touch to light the embers in her lower abdomen.

They're a bit late to party but there are enough people there that she hopes no one really notices. It's the fact that her hair is slightly disheveled and the back of his shirt a bit untucked that's a tad more worrisome.

But she can't say she regrets it. Not one bit.


	11. Sleigh Ride

_Sleigh Ride_

* * *

"Lexi?" Lily calls her older sister's name, tentatively reaching for her gloved hand as she gets out of the car. The twins run past them, slowing their pace at their parent's warning call but still heading for the mountain.

"Hey, what's up, Lex?" Alexis turns back, only to find Lily with a terrified look on her face, biting her bottom lip in worry. "I thought you were really excited about coming?"

"I didn't think it would be so big," she confesses, looking up at the hill, the kids sliding down the thick coat of snow on bright yellow tubes.

"I know it looks big from down here, and maybe from up there too, but I promise you it's tons of fun," Alexis tries to reassure her, reaching for her sister's hand and following the path their brothers had taken towards the hill.

"Have you ever fallen off one of the tubes?"

Alexis considers lying to appease Lily's worries before she answers but that's not the kind of example she wants to set for her sister. "I have. It was scary at first but I didn't get hurt. It's rare that you end up falling off but it can happen. You just have to hold on really, really tight to the handles on each side."

"And you were okay after?" Lily enquires, just to be on the safe side.

"I was. I even wanted to go back up right away."

"But what if I get hurt? What if I break my arm like Jake did last summer when he fell off the playground? He said that hurt more than anything he's ever felt before." She isn't sure what else she can say to reassure Lily that she won't get hurt and the truth is, she doesn't want to make any promises she can't keep. It's rare that people get seriously injured when tubing but it's not impossible, not really fool proof. Something _could_ happen. But she's hoping to god nothing does.

"What do you say, you and I go together for our first ride down?" Alexis offers, hoping it'll help her sister feel safe.

"We could do that?" Her eyes go wide, a hopeful gleam lighting the hazel surrounding her irises.

"Of course! They have dual tubes where two people can go down at once."

"Okay," Lily says resolutely. "I think it'll be a little less scary if you're with me."

Alexis smiles down at her sister, squeezes her hand lightly and touches her finger to her small and already pink nose.

"It's really fun, you'll see," she promises.

Jake and Reece are waiting for them at the bottom of the hill, practically jumping up and down in excitement with their tubes already picked out.

"Does everyone remember the rules?" Kate asks before she gives the go-ahead for them to start going up. "You listen to the man or woman in charge when you get on top and you wait for them to tell you to go. Don't let go of the handles on the side if your tube. Got it?"

"Got it!" Jake and Reece echo quickly, already walking towards the lift. "Can we go now?"

"You can go," Kate grants and the twins cheer, racing up the hill.

"Be careful!" Castle adds before they're too far but the boys don't slow their pace in the slightest, too excited to turn back. "You excited, Lilypad?" he turns to his two daughters, smiling at the sight of them holding hands.

Lily looks up to her older sister and nods. "Lexi said we could go down together in a joined tube."

"Yes! Those are the best," Castle confirms and Lily's smile widens, glad her father approves and now determined to face her fear.

They walk over to what looks like a huge conveyer belt that starts at the bottom of the hill and brings people all the way up to the top. It looks scary but Alexis assures her it's nothing, that it's actually relaxing once they get on. All they have to do is set the tube on the conveyer belt and sit on it, the machine does the rest and pulls them up to the top. It sounds simple but it's a bit of a challenge to get on, seeing as it never stops,

"You ready?" Alexis asks, holding the tube up and prepared to set it down on the belt when Lily says the word. "When I put it down you have to sit down right away, okay?"

She nods, understands that if she hesitates for too long the tube will leave up the mountain without her. "Okay, go."

Alexis follows her orders and Lily jumps for the tube, settling her bum in the hole of the donut-shaped inflated plastic and grabs the handles on the side quickly, not wanting to fall off. "We did it!" Alexis cheers and Lily laughs, something like adrenaline pumping through her veins. She looks down to find her parents waving at her and she lets go of one of the handles to wave back quickly.

When they get to the top, it looks even more intimidating than she thought it would but she holds on to her sister's words, trusting her to know that it's not as bad as it looks. They wait in line for what feels like an hour with the stress building up inside her but it's probably only really a couple of minutes. She sees Reece and Jake go down before them and they scream as their tubes slide down the tall hill but they don't fall off and they run to come back up as soon as it's over.

"Hey there, first time going down?" The man in the bright orange tuque asks when it's finally their turn and Lily nods timidly.

"Don't worry, it's going to be really fun," he assured her with a wink and encourages Lily and Alexis to sit on their double tube. "Just hold on tight to the handles."

Lily tightens her grip on the straps sewn into the sides of her tube and clenches her teeth as he starts to count. "Three… two… one, go!"

He gives the tube a shove and Lily screams as gravity pulls them down, her heart skipping fast in her chest as the cold wind hits her cheeks and they reach the bottom of the hill faster than she ever thought they would.

"So, did you like it?" Alexis asks when the friction pulls them to a stop.

"Yes! Can we go again?" Alexis laughs and nods, running with her sister back to the converter belt, ready for another ride.


	12. Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer

_Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer_

* * *

Kate smiles as she looks over at the small table they'd set up by the tree after supper. There's a plate with three homemade chocolate chip cookies as well as a tall glass of milk for Santa, and they've got a large carrot for every one of his reindeer too. Lily has also written a letter - so did Jake and Reece with a bit more of their help - to thank Santa for all his presents and those are laid out neatly on the table, right next to the plate of cookies.

She grins at the thought of Castle eating those cookies in a couple of hours, leaving only a few crumbs strategically to make it look as though Santa enjoyed his treats. They've also already written three small notes to pose as replies from Santa to each of their letters.

Kate walks up the stairs just in time to see all three of them scramble from the bathroom after having brushed their teeth, scurrying back to where Castle is waiting for them in Lily's bed to read them the same poem he does every year as tradition. She smiles and leans against the doorframe as Lily cuddles in close to one of Rick's side, Reece just as close on the other and Jake seems a little frustrated not to have been quick enough to beat his siblings to it.

"Is there still enough room for me?" She asks, taking a step forward from where she stands by the door and heading towards the bed.

Jakes eyes widen and gleam with excitement, just as she'd hoped. "You can sit with me, Momma!" He offers, scooting away from the wall to make space for his mom.

"Thanks, Jakey." Kate climbs up on the bed and settles her back against the wall, inviting Jake to sit between her legs and lean against her. He doesn't hesitate for a second and it makes her heart swell, has her thanking her lucky stars that she and Castle have been so blessed with their little family. She wraps her arms around him, pulling him close.

"Everyone settled in and comfortable?" Castle asks and he gets four nods, all impatiently waiting for him to start. He clears his throat dramatically in a way that has her thinking – not for the first time – that he's inherited his theatrics from his mother, but she grins, shaking her head at him slightly.

"' _Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even…_ "

"A mouse!" Reece, Jake and Lily all fill in simultaneously.

"That's right," Rick whispers, looking between the three of them and nodding. " _The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, in hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there…_ "

Castle continues to read from the illustrated version of the poem he'd bought right before Lily's first Christmas, even before she could understand a word of what he was saying. It didn't matter though, because just as he does now, he held their children's rapt attention with his story telling talents even before they could understand the true meaning of his words.

" _When, what to my wondering eyes should appear, but a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer, with a little old driver, so lively and quick, I knew in a moment it must be…_ "

"Saint Nick!" They don't have to be able to read the words from the page, they know what comes next from memory and with the help of the rhyme. She smiles and lays her cheek to the top of Jake's head as she continues to listen to her husband read the tale.

" _More rapid than eagles his coursers they came, and he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name._ _Now_!" Castle points to Lily first and she knows the next part right away.

"Dasher, now!"

Castle points to Jake next. "Dancer, now!" he fills in excitedly.

Reece knew he was next. "Prancer and Vixen!"

"Mm-hmm, and who else?" Castle asked going around in a circle once more.

"Comet!"

"And Cupid!"

"And Donner and Blitzen!"

"And what about Rudolf?" Rick gasps, as though he's afraid they've all have forgotten him.

"He's the most important one, Daddy!" Jake pipes up.

"Because he guides Santa's sleigh," Reece explains, completing Jake's thought, not unlike he she and Castle always did when they were building theory at the precinct.

 _"To the top of the porch! To the top of the wall! Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"_ Castle continues, with the poem, picking up easily from where they left off. Kate lets her mind drift as she listens to his story, paying more attention to the way her kids seem so happy instead. Lily is in her second year at school now and the boys would start kindergarten next fall. She can't believe how fast they're all growing, how lucky she and Rick are to have built this life with them.

" _He sprung to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle, and away they all flew, like the down of a thistle: but I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight — Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night_."

Castle read off the last lines of the poem and all three of their kids cheered. Kate is grateful for the fact that it's Christmas eve and that they can remind them Santa will know if they don't go to sleep right away. She knows that none of them are particularly sleepy and would probably have put up a fight to stay up later if this were any other night. But thankfully it's not, and the promise of finding presents under the tree in the morning is far more enticing than an extra hour of play time.

Not one of them protests when Castle closes the book, Reece and Jake run over to their shared room and into their beds, just waiting to be tucked in.

"Night, Lilypad," Kate whispers, pulling the covers up to her chest and laying a kiss to the top of her head. Castle comes in close and tickles her neck with the scrape of afternoon stubble until Lily is giggling and begging him to stop. Kate smiles at the sound of her daughter's laughter as she heads towards the door, waiting for Rick to join her so they can tuck in their boys.

"Night," she calls back, turning on her side, bringing the covers up to her chin.

"Sleep tight and sweet dreams," he winks, shutting off the light and closing the door behind him.

They tuck in the boys without much trouble either, hugging them both tight and Kate turns to Castle once they shut off the light and close the door to their room, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him down for a kiss.

"I know you read them stories every night but it always feels special when you read that one," Kate says when she lets her heels fall back to the floor and their lips part.

"That's because tomorrow is a special day," he explains, nudging her nose with his but Kate shakes her head and smiles up at him, her fingers playing with the short hairs at his nape.

"I think it's because you're a really special dad."


	13. Santa, Baby

_Santa, Baby_

* * *

The holiday season is always crazy busy, a hectic time of year. Between her job and taking care of their three kids, it's been at least over a week since she and Castle have been able to share a moment of intimacy. They are usually pretty good at making time or sneaking off to enjoy a few sacred minutes between themselves but for some reason, these last few days have made it impossible.

And she misses him. It's not that he's gone or that she never sees him, she does, but never for very long and always while something else is going on, whether it's decorating the Christmas tree, baking cookies, cooking supper or making lunches, it feels like they are constantly on the run.

She's hoping to make tonight feel special, though. Kate had contacted her Dad earlier in the day and asked him if he'd mind taking the kids for the evening. Jim was happy to look after his grandchildren and Jake, Reece and Lily had been ecstatic when they found out they'd be spending the night over at their grandfather's place.

Castle had a meeting with Gina about the release of his next book for a few hours this afternoon, and he'd just sent her a text saying he should be home within the next fifteen minutes.

That left her just enough time to slip into the sexy lingerie piece she'd let Lanie convince her to buy last week while they went out shopping. She hadn't been sure if she'd actually gather up the courage to wear it for him but after setting everything up for tonight, she finally decided to give it ago.

Castle has never made it a secret that he finds her desirable, but sometimes her insecurities get the better of her. After carrying three children and as the years go by she knows, can _see_ that her body isn't what it once was. Rationally, she knows he still loves her, still wants her, but it doesn't stop the fact that she wants to look good for him, impress him with the sway of her hips and her endlessly long legs.

She's hoping the skimpy little Santa number she bought will give her the boost she needs to try and seduce her husband like she once did.

By the time she hears the front door unlock and open, she's got candles set up in the bedroom, supper hot and ready in the over and she quickly pulls on her floral satin robe to cover her lingerie.

"Kate?" she hears him call as he walks through the door and she checks her hair in the mirror one last time before joining him out in the living room.

His mouth falls open when he sees her and she feels a smile tug at the corner of her lips. He hasn't even seen what she's wearing under the robe yet.

"What is this? Where are the kids?" he asks, his voice confused but he seems a little awed.

"They're with my Dad," she shrugs. "I missed you and I thought we could have an evening to ourselves."

Castle drops his messenger bag by the door and strides the rest of the distance between them, his palms reaching for her cheeks as he lays his lips over hers, worships at the altar of her mouth now that they are finally alone, without an audience.

"It's perfect," he whispers when their lips part, breathing her in and she moans when he dives back in, tangles his tongue with hers and- _oh god_ she's missed this, missed him.

She feels his fingers start to pull at the string of her robe and Kate grabs his hands, stops him before he unveils the surprise early, laughs when he pouts. "Later," she promises, and his eyes flare, unconcealed need burning in his gaze and she feels the flame come to life in her lower abdomen, almost decides that they can skip dinner.

But she wants time with him too, wants to talk about his day while they play footsie under the table, driving each other mad until they can't wait any longer. So, she take his hand in hers and tugs him towards the table, urging him to sit. "You made supper too?" He asks, surprised.

"Mm-hm," she confirms. "Homemade lasagna."

Castle moans. "God, you really are the perfect woman. When did you even have time to do all of this?" She takes the lasagna dish out of the oven and brings it over to the table, sits across from him and smiles at the boyish joy in his eyes.

"I took a few hours off of work. Talked with my Dad and asked if he minded having the kids for the night, and then I came back home to cook us dinner, figured you'd need it after your day of meetings."

He opens the bottle of red wine she'd set out and pours them both a glass. "This is really amazing, Kate."

They talk over the future of Nikki Heat and Jameson Rook for a little while, talk about the kids and what they have planned for the rest of the holidays. At one point during dinner her foot brushes along his ankle but she pays no attention to the warning look he gives her. She wants to touch him, craves the contact and yearns for the intimate touch. It's only when they are halfway through desert that she allows her foot to migrate to the inside of his thigh but this time he launches up from his chair and reaches for her, driven mad by her touch.

"You gonna show me what's underneath this robe?" He asks, his voice dark and husky and hungry for her.

"Impatient, Castle?" She teases, lifting a single brow, only she's just as desperate to show him as he is to see, hopes he'll love it.

"It's been driving me crazy all night," he groans, his lips migrating to the column of her neck and sucking at her pulse, tracing the sharp ridge of her collarbone with his tongue and nudging the silky material of her robe aside with his nose.

"Bedroom," she gasps, her heart beating hard in her chest at the heat of his mouth against her skin. "Now."

They stumble to their bedroom, barely make it in one piece, but when they cross the threshold Kate guides him backward until the back of his calves meet the edge of the mattress, urging him to sit.

And she lets the robe fall from her shoulders, land in a puddle at her feet. Only he's not looking at the fallen garment. No, he's staring at her, wide-eyed, his jaw hanging open.

"You're Santa."

Kate hums, and moves in closer to straddle his lap. His hands come up to bracket her hips, pulling her in close and nipping at the skin of her shoulder. "Does that mean I get to open my present early?"

Kate chuckles but it quickly turns into a gasp when his hands move south to cup her ass, drawing her closer still. "That depends on whether or not you're on the naughty list," she whispers, nipping at his earlobe.

"God, you're perfect," he murmurs between kisses and if he wasn't on the naughty list already, he sure as hell will be after tonight.


	14. Frosty the Snowman

_Frosty the Snowman_

* * *

"On your marks," Jim starts, dragging out the words to heighten the anticipation. Kate looks to her side, finds Alexis whispering something into Lily's ear and pointing towards something near her.

"Get set." Her husband is still drawing out his plan in the snow for Jake and Reece but all three of them straighten at the sound of Jim's voice, waiting for the final mark.

There's a beat of silence as they all look up, their hands poised and ready to dig in the snow the moment the clock starts.

"Go!" Martha instructs and she sees Jim start the timer. The boys scramble to their feet and plop down in the snow a few feet away, compacting snow together to make a larger ball and start rolling it around.

"Momma, quick! Jake's is already bigger than yours!" Lily points out and Kate chuckles. This is their annual snowman competition and this year it's Castle, Jake and Reece against her, Lily and Alexis. It's the girls versus the boys and apparently the pressure is on. Jim and Martha are here to judge the final products and deliberate on a winner and the rest of them are crouched down on the snow-covered ground, snow pants and all, working to put together the best snowman they possibly can in fifteen minutes.

Jakes looks up distractedly from his handy work to assess Kate's progress at the sound of Lily's words. He grins proudly when he realizes Lily was right and Kate sticks her tongue out at him teasingly.

She quickly gets back to work, rolling her own ball into the snow, amazed at how quickly it thickens, how well it sticks together. They picked the perfect day to do this.

"I think I've got the base ready," Alexis calls out to both Lily and Kate and her daughter beams.

"I'm almost done the middle section!" Lily announces as she turns around and starts to roll her snow ball in Alexis' direction so that they won't have to carry it too far once she deems it big enough. Alexis notices Lily starting to struggle to push her ball further, the compacted snow getting too heavy for her. Castle's oldest daughter moves quicker than Kate does and heads over to help Lily.

"No, I can do it," Lily protests, just as stubborn as Kate was at her age, always determined to prove herself.

"I know you can, Lilypad. But don't you think we'd be faster together?" Kate smiles at Alexis' soft spoken words. She and Lily have always had a special bond, despite the fact that they are twenty years apart and it's been beautiful to see it develop as they both grow older year after year.

"Seven minutes left!" Jim announces and Kate sees Lily nod to Alexis, accepting her offer to help push the snow ball all the way to the base Alexis has already completed.

"Momma we need your help," Lily calls. Kate picks up the smaller ball she's rolled around in the snow and brings it over to where the girls are standing.

"Okay, let's try to pick up Lily's ball all together and drop it onto the base." Alexis and Lily nod, circling around the large ball to be in a better position to lift it off the ground.

"One, two, three, lift!" Alexis instructs and all three of them pull the heavy ball of compact snow from the ground and onto their base. Lily huffs from effort but she looks pleased with their result.

The familiar sound of Jake and Reece arguing distracts them momentarily and Kate chuckles when she finds Castle doing his best to mitigate and get them back on track to snowman building.

"He threw snow in my face," Reece accuses, shooting a deadly glare in his brothers' direction.

"Well, he started it when he tripped me!" Jake counters and Castle visibly sighs.

"Looks like we might be back in the lead," Kate winks at Lily and Alexis grins.

Lily picks up the final, smaller snowball from the ground but realizes she isn't tall enough to place in on top of their snowman structure. "Alexis, could you help me?" The smile blooms across the young woman's face at Lily's question.

"Of course, I can help, Lil." Her daughter smiles at the nickname Alexis has recently taken to calling her. Lily has told Kate it makes her feel like she's one of the grown-ups. She'll will always be her little girl but Kate remembers what it was like wanting to feel like the adults in her life respected her. So as much as it pained her to hear that Lily wanted to be considered as one of them, she understands where her daughter is coming from.

"Three minutes!" Martha announces from the sidelines and Lily practically squeals, realizing they aren't done yet.

"We haven't found anything for the arms, or his mouth, or his nose, or his eyes-"

"Lily, come here, I have something to show you," Kate interrupts her rambling before she can get too caught up in everything they don't have yet.

"What is it?" Lily asks, huddling in close to Kate.

"I brought something from home I thought we could use." Kate slips off her mitten and digs into her coat pocket. She opens her palm to reveal a couple of buttons and a carrot.

Lily gasps at the sight. "These will be perfect!" she exclaims, bright-eyed and grateful. "You're the best, Momma! I'm so glad I was on your team." She wraps her arms around Kate in a quick hug but quickly pulls away, grabbing the materials from Kate's hands and running back towards their snowman.

"I found some branches," Alexis announces as Lily pins one of the buttons to their snowman's chest.

"Fifteen seconds!"

The kids groan and start scrambling to add the final touches before Jim or Martha calls the time.

"The eyes, the eyes!" Lily squeaks realizing that's all their missing and Alexis quickly hands her two decent sized rocks she'd collected earlier with the branches.

"Here," she says, placing them in the snow above the carrot nose.

"And, time!" Martha calls as the timer on Jim's phone goes off! "Time for the wise judges to deliberate," she says, looping her arms through Jim's. Castle rolls his eyes at his mother's theatrics but quickly shifts his gaze to Kate. They share a look and Kate hopes he sees how happy she is to spend the day out here with their family. Judging from the breadth of his smile, she thinks he does.

"I think we have a clear winner, this year. Sorry boys, but it seems the ladies thought of everything."

Jake and Reece pout but she's not about to let this little competition put a damper on their day.

"Hey," Kate says, as she approaches her boys. "What you guys say to getting some hot chocolate to warm up?"

They immediately perk up at the mention of sugar and nod eagerly. They practically race over to the car when Kate tilts her head in that direction. She feels Castle's arm drape across her shoulders and her mouth barely has time to curl up into a smile before his lips descend to press a kiss to hers.

"What was that for?" she asks when they break apart seconds later.

"Just because you're an amazing mom."


	15. One More Sleep

_One More Sleep_

* * *

He can't take the wait anymore. He hasn't seen his baby girl in over six months, the longest he's ever been without seeing her and even though he knows she did this for her, that he encouraged her to go, it was still torture.

It doesn't matter how old she gets, Alexis will always be his baby. And now that her job promotion training in England is over, she's coming home tomorrow for the holidays. She'll be home in time for Christmas and he honestly couldn't be happier. They've talked on the phone and over skype but it just isn't the same. He just really wants to hug her.

"You excited about tomorrow?" Kate asks, smiling as she comes out of their en-suite bathroom and joins him in their bed.

"It's all I can think about," he admits. "I can't believe I finally get to see her again tomorrow."

"I know babe. It's going to be great. And I know I don't need to be telling you this but you aren't the only one who's excited for her to be back. Lily's been keeping all the post cards she sent her in special box and Jake and Reece painted a 'welcome home' banner for when she comes over tomorrow. And I may have baked her favourite cake for desert."

"You really did all that?" he sounds surprised but his lips curve up in a smile.

"Of course. Alexis is their big sister. You know how much the kids love her. And I love her too. I can't wait to see her."

"You guys are the best. Tomorrow's going to be so great, she's going to love it." He leans in to lay a kiss to her lips, a silent thank you for loving his daughter so much.

* * *

The JFK airport arrivals terminal is packed with people holding flowers and balloons and Richard Castle would definitely be one of them if his daughter hadn't explicitly told him she didn't want any of that, just wanted her Dad to be there to pick her up when she got back. So, he's here, just waiting to catch a glimpse of her fiery red hair and if he's being honest with himself, the only reason he let her rope him into agreeing not to buy her any flowers is because he knows about the surprise that's waiting for her back home.

He's been here for just under an hour but that's mostly his fault, he couldn't wait at home any longer and when he started to get antsy Kate told him to leave early and go to the airport; she knew it was all he could think about. So, he was over an hour early but her flight has touched down by now and he's been scanning every face that passes those doors-

He sees her, would know his daughter from anyone even if she were miles away. It's a challenge not to shout her name or do anything to embarrass her like jumping over the line to envelop her in one of his bear hugs, but he holds back, knows it's what she would want. She's just turned thirty after all.

As soon as she rounds the corner, Alexis is scanning the room, looking around to find him. He waves when her eyes finally land on his and to his surprise, she's the one who starts running. Alexis throws her arms around him in a hug as soon as she reaches him and he swears he isn't crying, it's just that his eyes are leaking a little, it's the cold, he's sure.

"I missed you Dad."

"God, I missed you too, pumpkin. I'm so happy you're home," he whispers against her hair, holding her tight.

"Me too, Dad."

"How was the United Kingdom? Did you salute the Queen for me?" Castle asks jokingly as he pulls back to see her and she rolls her eyes with a smile, just like he knew she would. It may have been six months, but things haven't changed.

He grabs her suitcase and lays his other arm across her shoulders, keeping her close, not ready to let her go again quite so soon. "Come on, we've got three monkeys dying to see you waiting at home."

"I can't wait to see them too."

* * *

"Lexi!" They are barely though the door and the kids are already there, crowding Alexis and engulfing her in a group hug.

"I missed you guys," Alexis sniffles and Castle smiles, can see she's holding back tears and didn't expect this kind of reaction from her siblings.

"Me and Reece made you a banner!" Jake announces proudly, moving back and pointing to the white strip of paper hanging from the ceiling, welcoming her back. It's messy and it's got paint handprints all over it but it's just about the sweetest thing she's ever seen. At six years old, it's still very impressive that they were able to put it together.

"Wow, I love it. Thank you so much, that's incredibly sweet of you to do." She ruffles Jake and Reece's hair but pulls them in for another hug.

Kate joins them in the foyer and opens her arms to Alexis as well. "It's so good to see you," she whispers.

"It's good to see you too, Kate. Thank you, for all of this."

"It's nothing," Kate shrugs. "We're just really happy to have you back."

Alexis is about to head into the kitchen where she sees her Gram waiting with the champagne flutes but she feels a hand slip into hers, stalling her.

"Hey, Lil," she bends down to her sister's level and moves one of her curly strands of hair behind her ear.

"I made you a card." Lily hands her the card and Alexis smiles at her, opening up the envelope gently and pulling out the card.

"Did you write this yourself?" she asks, noticing the messy hand writing. Her younger sister nods and it means the world that Lily wanted to do this for her. "It's beautiful."

 _Dear Alexis,_

 _I missed you so much. I can't wait for you to be home. You are the best big sister ever.  
Love you,  
Lily._

Lily's in second grade now and she's been working really hard on her writing and spelling and this gesture melts her heart.

"I love it," she says, fighting the tears burning behind her eyes and opening up her arms to Lily for a hug. "You're the best sister too. Thank you so much."

It feels so good to be back home for the holidays.


	16. Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas

_It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas_

* * *

He's sorting the laundry when he gets the call, his phone buzzing in his back pocket and he drops the cute "Daddy's girl" onesie he'd been folding to grab it. He's a bit puzzled when he glances at the caller ID but brings the phone to his ear quickly.

"Jim, how are you?" He asks Kate's father as he turns to lean against the laundry machine. Rick loves speaking with Jim, he's just surprised he called him instead of Kate.

"I'm good Rick, thanks. How about you, how's the sleeping pattern?" Jim chuckles as he asks the question, knows that having a young child implies a lot of sleepless nights. He isn't wrong.

"I'll be honest, I've had better sleep, but it's been worth it," Rick grins, just picturing Kate and Lily in the living room, cuddled up on the couch for an afternoon nap. They're sleep deprived, it's true, but Rick can't complain about any of it. Bringing their daughter home with Kate has been the most incredible experience. Lily is about eighteen months now and raising her with Kate has been nothing short of amazing. It's been everything he could have dreamed of.

He loved taking care of Alexis on his own and nothing could take away from the memories he still cherishes of bringing up his first daughter.

But somehow, he knows that doing it with Kate, with the woman he loves most, is how it's supposed to be.

He knows Jim didn't just call him to talk about his and Kate's sleeping routine, though. "So, what can I do for you, Jim?"

"Well, son... I may or may not have impulsively bought your daughter a giant teddy bear."

Rick chokes on a laugh, knows the feeling of walking into a children's store and wanting to buy everything for his daughter. He just didn't think Jim Beckett was the type.

Though really, he should have expected it. Jim has been coming over to the loft at least once a week to spend time with Lily since they brought her home. Rick is certain the man had been hoping for grandchildren since he and Kate tied the knot. Not to mention, Lily is absolutely irresistible, captured his heart the moment he set eyes on her. He thinks the same might be true for Jim Beckett. And now he's apparently just bought her a giant teddy bear.

"And your calling me because you don't think Kate would approve?" he guesses. His wife has definitely been the one to reel him in and stop him from ordering obscene amount of baby toys he's stored in his amazon cart. Although she loves to spoil their daughter just as much as he does, she's been the voice of reason in all of this, insisting that they'd be the one picking everything up for the next two years and that Lily really didn't need that many toys.

"When I said giant... I meant giant. I might need your help to carry it to your place." Ricks eyes go wide but his heart skips a beat, excitement coursing through his veins.

"Are you still at the store?" Ricks asks, stepping out of the laundry room and toeing towards the living room couch as softly as possible. He finds Kate sleeping on the sofa, mirroring their one-year-old daughter who's passed out in the crib next to her.

"Yes. FAO Schwarz."

"Okay, I'll meet you there. Kate is asleep and so is Lily," he whispers not to wake them as he walks towards his office. "I'll leave her a note to say I went out to run a couple of errands and hopefully we can get the bear back here before she finds out?"

"You read my mind," Jim answers and Castle can hear the smile in his voice.

"Alright, I'm leaving home in two minutes. I'll meet your there soon."

"Alright. Thank you, son." His chest tightens like it does every time Kate's father uses the name.

"Not a problem."

He hangs up the phone and grabs some stationary from the office to write Kate a note in case she wakes up while he's gone. He's secretly hoping she won't, that way she'll get the full surprise when he and Jim come back from the store.

He takes the town car that's parked in his building's garage, hopes its big enough to take in the giant teddy bear Jim has just bought.

It doesn't take him so long to get to the famous store but parking is another story. Honestly, he should have expected as much considering the time of year, how people are scrambling to finish their Christmas shopping, but he was so eager to get here the thought never crossed his mind.

His phone vibrates and he glances down to find a text from Jim, telling him to meet him by the door with the car, that he's passed through the cash already and Rick praises the older man's impeccable timing.

He turns the car around and heads back towards the store's entrance. He spots Jim easily amongst the crowd of shoppers and turns on his four flashers.

"The timing of your text was perfect. I couldn't find any parking," Rick tells him as he steps out of the car.

"I figured it'd be easier given the size of that thing. We should put down the back seats of the car."

Once the car is ready, they head back inside the store and Rick's eyes nearly bulge out of their sockets as he takes in the massive teddy bear. He can just picture Kate's face when she sees this.

"You weren't kidding about the size."

"No. I couldn't resist, though."

"I know the feeling," Rick grins and positions himself on the other side of the bear's body, signaling Jim to lift when he does.

They manage to get the plush in the car after a couple of strategic attempts and what was practically a minor game of Tetris.

By the time they get back to the loft he's been gone for about forty-five minutes. There's still some hope that Kate and Lily haven't woken up from their nap.

"Do you mind if I ask why you didn't keep this as a Christmas present?" Rick asks once he's parked and they pop the trunk open to take the teddy bear out.

"Well, for one, I wouldn't have known how to wrap it or bring it over to the loft subtly."

"Fair point," Rick concedes.

"Not to mention, I've already bought all my gifts for Lily this year," he chuckles. "I just couldn't help myself. I wanted to see the look on her face when she saw it."

He nods in understanding. It's a feeling he knows all too well. The ride up the elevator is cramped, the teddy bear stuck between him and Jim taking up most of the space and pushing both of them against the sides.

Rick opens the door to the loft quietly and notices Kate is still sleeping. Good.

He gives Jim a thumbs up and they manage to get the plush through the door and into the living room. Once it's settled next to the Christmas tree, Jim moves over to the crib Lily is sleeping in. She starts to fuss and it wakes Kate from her sleep as well, her ears tuned to hearing her daughter's soft cries.

"Dad?" she asks, confused when she sees Jim picking up Lily from the crib and comforting her before any tears are shed. "What are you doing here?"

Her father grins. "Just came to drop off an early Christmas present."

Kate's brow knits in confusion; it takes her all but five seconds to notice the massive teddy bear next to the Christmas tree.

"Dad," Kate starts, the protest clear in her tone, but when she turns back to him, she sees Lily's eyes have also landed on the giant bear, her hands reaching towards it as a smile blooms across her lips.

Jim looks over at Rick and grins. It was worth it.


	17. Happy Xmas

_Happy Xmas_

* * *

It was a few years back that Lily started to realize that Christmas was about more than just waking up to find presents under the tree. She'd wanted to do something more, to give back to people in the spirit of Christmas and the holidays. So, every year now, they take at least one day and go out to serve some food to the homeless at a local soup kitchen. They're building new traditions together.

Lily loves doing it and every year, at the beginning of December they pick a date and make sure they can all be free. It's never easy, between school, Kate's work as Senator of New York and all the events she and Castle get invited to attend, not to mention, they want to spend as much time as possible with their kids during the holidays.

But they make time for this.

"Excited about today?" Kate asks her daughter as she exits the bedroom and finds her prepping two coffees along with three hot chocolates for the road.

"Definitely," Lily smiles, turns to face her mother.

"Your Dad and your brothers shouldn't be too much longer."

"I know they don't like going so much. You don't have to force them you know."

"What?" Kate asks, confused. "Your Dad loves doing this with you, he-"

"I know _he_ does. I was taking about the boys. He's probably still up there giving them a pep talk right now to stop them from making a fuss about having to come today."

Kate sighs, doesn't want to deny it when she knows it's true. But she doesn't want Lily to think that this isn't important to all of them. "They're younger than you, and as much as I love them, it's taking them a bit slower than you to understand not all things are a given in life." She takes her daughter's hand in hers. Lily has always been wise beyond her years, taking after her older sister. Sometimes it's difficult to understand why others can't see the importance of certain gestures. Wanting to help others is something that's always come naturally to Lily, but she's afraid it's a value they're still working on teaching to their boys.

"One day, they'll see how important this tradition is on their own, but for now we just have to work together to show them," Kate tries her best to explain and she hopes Lily understands, that she's able to see that she's set something great in motion.

Her daughter nods but before she can say anything more, the twins and Castle are walking down the stairs.

"Thanks for the hot chocolate, Lil," Reece says as he grabs the cup from the counter and takes a cautious sip not to burn his tongue, something he's experienced far too many times.

"Everyone ready to head over there?" Castle asks, grabbing his coat and slipping on his boots.

"Yep," Jake answers while everyone else nods and heads towards the door to put on their winter clothes. They won't be outside for very long but the winter wind is biting.

They get to the small soup kitchen surprisingly quickly despite the snow on the roads and the owner greets them with a smile.

"I was wondering when I'd be seeing you guys," Bill greets them with a smile. "Wow, Lily, you've grown so much since last year."

"Nice to see you, Bill. Think you could use some help?" Rick asks, shaking the man's hand.

"Of course, we always need help around here. Come on, I'll get some gloves and aprons from the back."

They follow him into the back of the restaurant and wash their hands before slipping on their gloves and aprons. "Alright, you guys remember how this goes?"

The kids nod, in answer. "Just remember not to take it personally if anyone says anything upsetting. They don't really mean it and it's not about you, really. Everyone is very grateful that you guys are here to help, including me," Bill assures them, giving Lily a wink before ushering them back to the front where the large pots of warm soup are ready to be served.

Lily starts first, grabbing a soup ladle and the boys line up beside her, handing out plates and pieces of bread to the men and women who walk in, hoping not to be too late to be served a meal for the day.

"Thank you, dears," one man says, looking between the three of them. "This is the first thing I've eaten in two days."

"Merry Christmas," Lily responds with a smile and he nods in thanks before heading to one of the tables, but Reece's eyes go wide at the man words, shocked by the statement.

"Do you think that's true?" he whispers to his brother but Lily answers first.

"We can't know for sure, but, yeah, it's probably true."

"How can you know?" Jake inquires, suspicious.

"Because over 19 million people in the country live in extreme poverty. They barely have enough money to keep a roof over their heads and feed themselves. And the people here today don't even have a home, so it's pretty safe to assume he was telling the truth about having nothing to eat."

"But how come they don't get a job?" Reece whispers under his breath so that only his sister and brother can hear, horrified by what Lily has just told him.

"It's not that simple. No one wants to hire someone who looks homeless. It's a vicious cycle."

"What does that mean?" Jake asks, confused.

"It means they're stuck. Even if they want to get a job to get out of the situation they are in now, they can't and the reason they can't _is because_ of the situation they are in now."

"Oh." The information starts to sink in for Jake, understanding that this isn't really their choice and that getting out of it is a lot more complicated than he thought.

They serve soup and bread to at least three hundred people that day. They aren't giving away any presents but they are giving people something they desperately need to keep on going.

"Hey, Dad?" Jake calls once they've handed back their aprons to Bill and are walking towards the town car.

"What's up bud?"

"Nothing, just… Thanks for convincing me and Reece to come today. I think we made a difference to those people."

"You definitely did. But don't thank me, thank your sister, this is her tradition." And he does. He and Reece thank Lily for reminding them that there's more to Christmas than just the presents under the tree.


	18. Mele Kalikimaka

_Mele Kalikimaka_

* * *

"Are your seat belts nice and snug?" Kate asks, turning to Jake and Reece and both of them nod.

"It's not fair. I wanted the window seat," Jake pouts next to her, his arms crossed stubbornly.

"Hey, I won fair and square," Reece counters, recalling their heated game of rock, paper, scissors before they boarded the plane.

"You'll get the window seat on the way back, Jake," she reminds him.

She looks over to her other side where Rick and Lily are sitting in the middle aisle. Her daughter is closest to her and doesn't seem to mind in the slightest that she won't be getting a window seat, she's already got one of her books out - one of the five she brought along on this seven day trip - and Kate can see she's already lost in the fictional world the author has woven for her.

Castle looks over at her over the top of Lily's head, his smile bright and she can see him practically bouncing in his seat like a ten-year-old at the sound of the plane moving away from the terminal.

She can't believe he convinced her to take a trip to Hawaii during her Christmas vacation. Not that she regrets it, she's actually looking forward to lying on the beach in the sand and pulling out a book like her daughter. It will do them all some good, hopefully it'll help Lily relax after her winter exams and give the boys an opportunity to run around and spend as much energy as they want.

She smiles back at him, lets her own excitement show in the upward curve of her lips.

"Mom, look! We're in position for take-off," Reece observes, his face plastered against the plastic window and sure enough, the engine begins to rev seconds later. Jake grabs her hand when the plane starts gaining speed on the track and Kate squeezes back, hopes it gives him the reassurance he seeks.

"We're really going to Hawaii!" Reece exclaims, bouncing in his seat despite the restraint of the seat belt, only glancing at her with a happy smile for half a second before his eyes are glued to the window again as if it's only just hit him that this is actually happening.

"We really are," Kate confirms, looking back towards Castle who shares the same amount of excitement as his son in his eyes.

* * *

"Dad, does Santa come to Hawaii too even if there's no snow?" Jake asks, curious as he shapes a pile of sand, doing his best to make it look like a castle. The sun is blistering hot and beating down on his exposed skin; it has him sweating just from the exposure. He'll take that any day compared to the biting cold of winter that awaits them back home in a week.

"Of course, he does," Rick answers without missing a beat. "Santa leaves presents for everyone all over the world, you know that."

"Yeah, I just never thought about the fact that there's hardly ever any snow in Hawaii." He pauses for a second, making another connection. "Does that mean we'll also get presents here? Will he know we aren't home?"

"Santa knows everything." He winks at his son and Jake seems to accept that answer, doesn't push for more.

"Dad!" Castle turns his head towards the ocean where Reece has poked his head above the water, his scuba mask and breathing tube still on his head. "I think I found a sand dollar, like in my book!" He calls out and Rick beckons him over to show him.

Kate grins at the sight as she glances away from her book. She and Lily are just a few feet away, lying on some lounge chairs, both enjoying their separate novels.

"You should probably turn over, Lil," Kate advises, noticing that the top of her thighs seem to be getting a little red. "I think you might be starting to burn."

Her daughter tears her eyes away from the book that's held her attention for the past hour and a half to inspect her skin and judge for herself. "Crap," Lily sighs, taking note of the red splotches on her thighs as well. "How come I always burn? I always put on sunscreen, and the good kind too."

"Your skin is pretty fair. Even with SPF protection it can still get burned, especially when the sun is this strong," Kate shrugs, knows it's horrible to get a bad sun burn.

"Honestly, if getting a sunburn is the only thing I have to worry about this week, I'm not about to complain. Thanks for taking us out here, Mom. I really needed a break from everything." She grabs the bottle of sunscreen protection from their bag and starts to add an extra coat, then turns to lie on her stomach in an attempt to protect her thighs from further sun exposure.

Kate smiles, glad her daughter is finally taking some time to relax. "It's our pleasure. You deserve some down time. I know you're putting a lot of stress on yourself with school and your Dad and I want you to know that it's okay to take a break sometimes."

"I know," Lily sighs. "It's just... Sometimes I feel like Alexis was such an amazing student and Reece is younger than me and he's already a genius. I want you guys to be proud of me." Kate sets her book aside and lifts her back up from the lounge chair to reach over and grab her daughters hand.

"Listen to me, Lily Castle. Your father and I couldn't be prouder of the young woman you're becoming. You're an amazing example to your brothers, you're talented and caring and dedicated to everything that you take on. You never have to worry about us being proud."

Lily's lips curve up in a shy smile but she seems grateful for her mother's words, squeezing her hand in hers.

"Thanks, Mom."

"Always," Kate promises and she tugs on her daughter's hand, prompting her to stand from her chair. "Come on, let's go get some frozen drinks from the beach bar."

"Oh, can you bring me back one of those Christmas themed daiquiris?" Castle asks, perking up at the sight of them heading towards the bar.

"Me too!" Jake calls.

"Me three!" apparently even Reece noticed them getting up even with his head underwater for most of the time.

"Looks like we're going to have our hands full," Lily remarks, linking arms with her mom and heading get drinks for everyone.


	19. Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer

_Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer_

* * *

He gets the call about an hour after she'd left the loft, insisting that she was fine to make it home, that she'd rather sleep in her own bed on Christmas Eve. When he'd insisted she better stay, reasoned that she was supposed to come back tomorrow afternoon anyway, his mother had made some suggestive comment, leading him to assume she had arranged for someone to keep her warm in her own bed tonight. So, Rick had let her go, hadn't wanted to hear anything more about her late-night Christmas meet-ups.

But when he gets the call from the New York Presbyterian Hospital, letting him know that his mother has been admitted over an emergency, he knows he never should have let her convince him.

He and Kate had just finished putting the kids down for the night, were headed to bed themselves, but as soon as he hangs up the phone he's heading for the door, slipping on his coat and giving his wife a quick explanation. He promises he'll call once he gets there and has more news about his mother's condition. She's worried but she lets him go.

The cab ride over to the hospital is hell. He feels guilty, knows this is his fault. Martha had too much to drink – as she often does – and he _knew_ she was better off staying over for the night. The snowstorm raging outside rendered the driving conditions a mess, the sidewalks incredibly slippery.

All the nurse had told him over the phone was that his mother had been admitted in an emergency, that she'd fallen and hit her head on the ground. All the worst-case scenarios are swarming his imagination, have him praying that it's nothing serious. God, he never should have let her leave.

When he finally gets to the hospital Rick has to put up a fight to see her, but they insist he's going to have to wait: she's getting a brain scan.

The information doesn't help the panic settling in his bones, doesn't stop his knee from jittering when he finally relents and decides to sit in the waiting room like everyone else. He tries to call Alexis, knows she would kill him if he didn't call her, but he gets no answer. She'll be upset when she wakes but he decides not to call again, sends her a text message instead, to call him as soon as she sees this.

It's only about an hour later that they inform him that he can see her, though she's still unconscious. The doctors are still waiting on the results of the brain scan to know how serious the damage is, and the lack of information has his insides cringing, tears pricking behind his eyes, but at least he'll be able to see her.

When the nurse opens the door to his mother's room, he's taken aback by the sight, isn't used to seeing her so frail, so breakable. He knows she isn't young anymore but Martha has always aged well, hardly ever showing visible signs of aging, save maybe for her inability to use technology.

Rick spends the night sleeping in an incredibly uncomfortable chair at her bed side, despite the fact that the doctors had told him they doubted she would wake up before morning. There was no way he was leaving her here without having talked to her, or seen her awake.

He wakes up a few times during the night, but she's still unconscious. It's only when his eyes open to the lights streaming through the blinds that he finds his mother awake beside him.

"You didn't have to sleep here all night you know." Her voice is gruff from disuse and she raises a single brow.

He chuckles at the first words out of her mouth, figures if she's already making off-sided comments like this, things might not be so bad. "Wouldn't have had to if you'd just listened to your son and stayed with us instead of venturing out into the storm last night." He's serious but he's also just kidding, hopes to use his usual humor to lift his mother's spirits.

"I know kiddo. I should have listened to you." She pats his hand where it rests at her bedside and he does a double take, is about to call her out on her words and demand that she repeats herself so that he can record her, but he hears the door to her hospital room open.

"Gram!" three familiar voices chorus, all sounding panicked as they rush into the room. He turns to find his three kids and Kate looking sheepish as she enters after them.

"I'm sorry. I tried to tell them what happened this morning, to explain why you weren't there and they just wanted to come here. I tried to text you but you weren't answering and I know I should have checked with you before bringing them here, I just-"

"Kate, it's okay. She just woke up. I'm sure she's happy to see them."

"They were so worried, Rick. God, you should have seen them. They barely even looked at the presents under the tree. All they wanted was to see you and their Gram." He reaches for her hand, lacing his fingers with hers, hopes he can reassure her that she did the right thing by bringing their family here.

"Oh, darlings! What are you all doing here?" Martha asks, surprised but delighted to see her three youngest grandchildren all huddled around her bedside.

"We wanted to see you, Gram. Mom said you were hurt when you left last night," Reece explains, reaching for his grandmother's hand.

"Your mother is right, kiddo," she says solemnly. "But I'm afraid she doesn't know the whole story."

"What happened?" Lily asks, her eyes wide.

"Well, I was headed home, like you said, and suddenly there was a huge gust of wind blowing snow everywhere and I could hear hooves in the distance."

"Hooves? Like horses?" Jake questions, but Martha shakes her head.

"That's what I thought at first too. But then I saw them. They were reindeer. They knocked me over and I fell to the ground, hit my head pretty bad." All three pairs of eyes go wide at Martha's explanation and Kate and Rick have to hide their smiles.

"It was Santa?" Reece gasps and Martha nods.

"Oh, I know he didn't see me with the snow and all, he didn't mean to knock me over but I saw him and the reindeer guiding his sleigh. They whooshed right by me and knocked me off my feet."

"Woah!" All three of them beam, riveted by the story.

"Speaking of Santa, shouldn't you all be home opening up his presents right now?" Martha asks but Lily is quick to respond, doesn't even think about her answer twice.

"It's not Christmas without you, Gram."


	20. Where are you Christmas

_Where are you Christmas_

* * *

She doesn't know exactly what's changed, but for some reason the pieces start falling into place, making sense and from one day to the next, she knows. She knows that Santa isn't real.

It's just a tale grown-ups tell kids, just a story they made up. There isn't a Santa Claus, no elves or toy factory up in the north pole, no flying reindeer either. She doesn't know why from one moment to the next it started to sound implausible, doesn't know what triggered her to realize that it's all just been make-believe this whole time, but she does.

And part of her wishes she could forget, that she could go back to believing all of it. Christmas is her favourite holiday and now… Well now she's ruined it. The magic is gone. There's an explanation for everything, from the gifts under the tree to the personalized notes they get back in the mail every year. It's all just staged, none of it real.

She wishes she could have the magic back but she knows that's not how it works. Now that she knows, there's no going back, she can't forget this or go back to the way things were and felt before.

Lily hops out of the car along with the boys and her Dad once they get home from school, stays silent as they ride the elevator up to their floor. Her Dad nudges her shoulder, tries to silently ask if everything is alright but she doesn't want to talk about it, knows she can't right now, not with Reece and Jake in the elevator with them.

Christmas may be ruined for her but she isn't about to rob her brothers of the same joy, not when she wishes she could go back to being just like them, blissfully unaware.

The boys are picking a fight with each other - over something stupid no doubt, she hasn't been listening long enough to know what's going on – and part of her is glad, uses it to her advantage as she heads straight up the stairs to her room, bypassing her Dad's questions.

She just wants to be alone right now.

He doesn't stay away for very long though, and it's barely even five minutes since they walked into the loft when she hears the soft knock on her bedroom door.

"Hey, Lilypad, it's me. Can I come in?" Her Dad asks and he takes her silence as permission.

She doesn't look at him when he walks in and closes the door behind him gently, choses to focus on the flower patterns painted on her wall instead.

"Nothing like video games to get the boys to stop fighting," he chuckles, but she can see he's just making small talk, avoiding the elephant in the room and trying to get her to smile. But it doesn't work, not this time. He takes a seat at the edge of her bedside, tries to meet her eyes even though she purposefully avoids his gaze.

"What's going on, Lily? You seem really upset." She doesn't answer, doesn't really want to say the words aloud, even if she knows it's ridiculous, that keeping them inside won't make them any less real. "If there's anything I can do-"

"You can't fix this, Dad." It comes out harsher than she'd intended but she doesn't take the words back. He doesn't say anything, waits for her to make the next move.

"I know it's not real." She blurts it out and the words take her by surprise, have tears building up behind her eyes.

"What's not real?" He asks, curiously, but she can't tell if he's just trying to put on an act or get her to believe again but it's too late for that.

"Santa, the reindeer, Christmas: everything!" She spells it out for him even though it has tears running down her cheeks. "It's all just one big made up story."

Lily sees her Dad nod solemnly from the corner of her eyes and it has the very last vestiges of hope dying inside her. She knew it.

They don't speak for a few seconds and she does her best to swipe the tears from her chin and cheeks. She's glad he doesn't try to make jokes to lighten the mood like he usually does. She just needs a moment.

"I know it's not easy to let it go," Castle starts, reaching out to take hold of Lily's hand. "You know, I was just like you when I found out."

"Really?"

"Yeah," he sighs. "A friend at school told me and at first I didn't want to believe it but then it was in my head and I couldn't get it out, it was all I could think about. It all made sense and I hated that." Lily nods, sniffling slightly to stop her nose from running.

"Why would you make us believe, then? If you knew how much it hurt it find out?"

"Because I also remembered how amazing it was to believe," he says simply, a sad smile lifting up the corner of his lips slightly. She understands, knows what he means by the fact that just a moment earlier she was wishing she could go back, that she could forget. "And you know, Santa and his reindeer may not be real, but the magic of Christmas definitely is, no matter what you believe."

"What do you mean?" Lily asks, turning to him now, confused.

"I know it might not feel like it now, but there's so much magic to be found in this world. And it all comes alive at Christmas. All the lights, the songs, the way people open up their hearts. It's a different kind of magic," he tries to explain, hopes his daughter can continue to hold onto the possibility of something more. The thought has him remembering the words he'd told Kate all those years ago

"Whatever you do, just make sure you always believe in the possibility of magic."

"Why?"

"Because it's the only way you'll ever find it. And I promise you, it's out there, Lilypad. Just not in the places you'd expect."

"So, you've found magic then. Even after you stopped believing in Santa?" Her eyes turn hopeful, specks of gold bursting through the forest green surrounding her irises.

"I did," he confirms, smiles when he sees she believes him.

"But where?"

"I can't tell you that. It's up to you to find it." Lily rises onto her knees and wraps her arms around him, holding him tight.

"Thanks, Dad."

"Always, kiddo."


	21. Last Christmas

_Last Christmas_

* * *

"Are you guys almost done getting ready?" Kate asks as she knocks in the door to their room. They are both getting ready for their first Christmas school dance as freshmen and it's starting in about forty minutes. They'll have to leave soon if they don't want to be late.

"Mom, could you help me with my bowtie?" Reece opens the door and hands her the tie, annoyed that he couldn't do it himself but tired of dealing with it.

"Of course," she smiles, coming in closer and lifting the collar of his dress shirt so she can fit the tie around his neck. It takes her about ten seconds to hook it into place and flip down his collar again. "There. You look really handsome."

"Thanks, Mom." He pulls a bit at the material around his neck, not used to it yet.

"Where's Jake?"

"Still in there. He says he doesn't want to go anymore."

"What? How come?"

Reece only shrugs in answer and starts walking towards the stairs. Kate knocks on the door again to let Jake know she's coming in. "Jake?"

He's sitting on his bed with his head in his hands, his tie laid out beside him but at least he's dressed. "Hey, what's going on?" she asks softly, sitting crossed legged on the floor in front of him.

"Nothing, I just don't want to go," he mumbles against his hands still covering his face.

"Since when? You seemed so excited about this up until just now," she prods, hoping to get him to talk, explain what's really going on.

"Maybe that's because up until now, I thought Julie was going to go with me."

Ah, there it is. "And now she's not?"

"Mom, I don't want to talk about it." He flops onto his back on the bed and then turns away from her, doing his best to shut her out.

"Okay," she sighs, pats his knee and starts to get up from the floor. "But just so you know, sometimes it's good to get a woman's opinion on these things. I'm going to drive your brother to the dance but your Dad and Lily are still downstairs if you need anything." She walks over to the door slowly, betting on the fact that he'll change his mind about talking to her. She's just about to close the door when she hears his voice muffled into his pillow.

"What was that?"

"She told me she changed her mind. That she doesn't want to go to the dance with the class clown. There. I said it," he huffs, clearly upset and still turned away from her. But this is good. In fact, she's pretty sure she can work with this.

"But she had said yes to you before?" Kate inquires, just to make sure she's got all the facts straight and Jake nods. She walks back into his room and takes a seat at the edge of the bed, waits a few seconds before she continues. "Did you know that your Dad asked me out before we were together and I said no?"

"Really?" he turns his body slightly towards hers, ready to listen now, more than he was thirty seconds ago.

"Mhm," she hums. "He was kind of a clown himself," Kate grins thinking back to the early days of their partnership, how reckless and ridiculous he was, how he couldn't take anything seriously. "I thought he would hurt me, that he wouldn't be serious about us. And I think part of me was also afraid of what everyone else would think, how they might treat me differently if they knew I was with him."

Being a cop was always serious and when Castle first started shadowing her, she was always afraid people might stop respecting her.

"It was never that I didn't want to be with him, but I was scared." She doesn't think she's every really said this to anybody, ever told her side of the story in those first years of their partnership. She was always too busy denying that anything was happening between them or that she wanted anything to happen. But now, years later she knows she wanted him, even from the beginning she was at least attracted to him. Had she not thought he would hurt her or damage her reputation as a cop, she may have given into the attraction sooner.

"I didn't know that." Jake admits and she can see the wheels turning in his head, the parallels he's drawing to his own situation. "Do you think I still have a chance, then?"

Kate thinks before answering. "I can't say that for sure, and remember, it took a long time for me to trust your Dad. We both had a lot of work to do on ourselves before we tried anything. But if Julie's first answer was yes, then I think you might have a chance to win her back."

"But how?" Jake sits up his bed, desperate for her to give him all the answers.

"Well, first off, you can start by actually showing up to this dance. She may not be there as your date but maybe you can ask her for one dance?" His eyes light up at the thought and Kate is starting to think that this girl Julie might actually be something special if she already has her son wrapped around her little finger.

He jumps up from the bed and moves to stand in front of her. "Can you help me with my tie?" Kate smiles and picks up the short tie they had bought for this event from the bed, wrapping it around his neck and adjusting it when she pulls down his collar.

"Mom, we're going to be late!" She hears Reece call from downstairs and she shakes her head despite the grin that stretches across her lips.

"You ready?" She asks Jake when she stands form the bed and he nods already heading for the door to join his brother downstairs.

"Yeah, thanks Mom," he adds, a little sheepish, though really, he has nothing to be ashamed about.

"Any time, kiddo."


	22. I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus

_I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus_

* * *

Every year they head over to Ryan and Jenny's place for supper during the holidays and this year they decided to have it on Christmas Eve. Esposito and Lanie are also here and though they don't have kids of their own, they are every one of their children's favourite aunt and uncle.

Lily and Sarah-Grace have always been close, despite their four-year age gap, and so have the twins and Nicholas. Kate finds herself thankful for the fact that they all get along so well because if she's being honest with herself, she needs her friends tonight.

The holidays have been exhausting and as much as she loves her kids, they've been driving her up the wall. She had to be the bad cop today and punish the twins because neither of them would listen to her, too busy fighting and arguing amongst themselves. She doesn't like disciplining them but she won't hesitate to do it if that's what needs to be done. Both Jake and Reece were upset with her for most of the afternoon because she'd raised her voice and took away their toys, but she isn't about to start tolerating them throwing things across the living room at each other.

Castle had been upstairs helping Lily with something when it had happened and so she'd been the one to intervene and punish them. It's not a big deal, she knows that, but she's over-worked and now she feels like her kids hate her and it's Christmas tomorrow. It's just been a rough couple of days.

"You feeling okay?" Lanie asks, coming up beside her and pouring her a glass of wine. "You seem a little off your game." She never has to tell her best friend about how she's feeling, Lanie always seems to know.

She sighs, decides not to try to hide it for once. "It wasn't an easy day," Kate admits. "The boys wouldn't listen to me and I had to punish them and now they're upset with me. I know I shouldn't care, that disciplining is part of the job but… it's Christmas tomorrow and I just don't want them to hate me."

"Katherine Beckett, are you being serious right now?" Lanie asks in an incredulous tone. "Those boys love you. I know it might have seemed like they were mad back home but they've forgotten about all of that by now. In fact, they just finished telling me about the gingerbread houses you helped them with yesterday and how proud they were to show their Gram and Grandpa Jim when they came over."

Kate's eyebrows raise, surprised that they even talked to Lanie about that. "They really talked about that?"

"Do I look like I read minds?" She deadpan. "How else would I have known they made y'all decorated gingerbread houses yesterday?"

Kate rolls her eyes at her best friend but the corners of her lips turn upwards. "Castle could have told you."

"Well he didn't. And if I hear you saying you think your kids hate you again, I'm prepared to smack you. They all look at you like you hung the moon and stars. Almost as starry eyed as your writer."

Kate chuckles and the mention of her husband has her looking around for him, realizing she hasn't seen him in a few minutes. "Where is Castle, anyway?" she asks Lanie but before her friend can answer, there's a booming knock on the door.

"Who's that?" Reece asks, looking over at his cousin Nicholas who shrugs, doesn't know either.

"I'll go see!" Sarah-Grace announces. She heads over to the door, a bounce in her step and she gasps when she pulls it open.

"Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas! Are you Sarah-Grace by any chance?" She nods and Kate looks over by the door, curious like everyone else.

"Santa!" Jake cheers excitedly but Reece hangs back a little, intimidated by the man with a large belly wearing a bright red suit. "Aren't you on your way to deliver presents?"

"I am! I just thought I might drop some off here before continuing my rounds. What do you think?" The kids nod excitedly and crowd around him, hoping to receive something from the large bag he came in carrying over his shoulder.

Kate knows that build, would recognize him anywhere no matter how he's dressed, even with a pillow covering his belly to fatten him up. But she's confused by the fact that his voice doesn't sound like him at all. He gives the kids one presents each, insisting that they'll have to wait for tomorrow morning like all the other children for the rest. They all head over to the living room to open them up and Kate waits until they're all distracted with their new toys to head over to see Santa herself.

"Any presents in there for me?" she asks, grinning when he turns to her, recognizing the wide blue eyes she fell in love with. That's about all we can see of his face, the rest covered by his hat and thick white beard. He even has seeing glasses to throw their kids off if ever they were to doubt that Santa was actually their Dad.

"I'm afraid not, love. But if you wait until tonight, I might be able figure something out." She sees his eyebrow wiggle suggestively and Kate laughs.

"How come your voice sounds so different?"

He leans in close to whisper the words in here ear. "Turns out, there's an app for that." Kate shakes her head. At least he thought of everything, ensuring their kids wouldn't recognize him. She chuckles and leans in to press a quick kiss to his lips, unthinking.

"Hey!" Reece calls accusingly. "That's my Mom! Santa, you can't kiss her."

They separate quickly, looking equally as guilty. Oh man, they are so busted and she has absolutely no idea how they are going to explain this.

"I'm going to tell my Dad," Reece warns.

"That's the right thought, my man," Castle answers, still posing as Santa, addressing Reece and Kate rolls her eyes at his answer. As if she'd ever be kissing any other man. "It was just because of the Mistletoe, though," he explains, pointing up to where there is indeed Mistletoe hanging from the door frame above him. Wow, that was lucky. "I meant no harm, I promise. Merry Christmas everyone!" he calls one last time and all the other kids thank him from the living room, all still occupied with their presents and he slips out the door.

"Mom, are you going to leave Dad for Santa Claus?" Reece asks, pulling on her pant leg when the door closes behind Santa.

He's getting a lot bigger but at three years old she can still pick him up and hoist him up on her hip.

"I'm not, I promise. I love your Dad with all my heart," Kate vows.

"Good. Because then you'd have to leave for the North Pole forever and I want you to stay with us." Her heart clenches in her chest, the words healing the wounds she'd thought were still raw from their earlier fight.

"I'm not going anywhere, sweetheart. I love you"

"Love you too, Momma."


	23. Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)

_Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)_

* * *

He's been cursing himself for the last hour, knowing full well there's absolutely nothing he can do to change this. He should have known better, never should have trusted Paula to book the plane tickets for his book tour across the country. She'd gone behind his back and extended his stay for a day. He was supposed to leave on the twenty third, for exactly this reason. He knows she didn't do it with any malicious intent, that she truly believed he'd make it home in time for Christmas Eve but now he's the one paying the price for her mistake.

He's been stuck at LAX for the last eight hours and it's been hell. His flight was set to leave early this morning so that he'd arrive back home in time for dinner with his family. Only apparently there's a huge storm in New York and so the flight has been severely delayed, leaving him stranded in an airport on Christmas Eve.

Kate has been keeping him in the loop since he's arrived at the airport and was informed of the delay. The kids are miserable apparently, upset that their father won't be home in time to tuck them in or to narrate the poem they always read on Christmas Eve. He's sure Kate will be a wonderful substitute, he learnt early on when they first brought Lily home eight years ago that she was just as good a storyteller as he was, if not better. But that's not the point, the point is that he's letting his family down on Christmas.

* * *

"Why isn't Daddy home?" Jake asks at the table, pushing his food around in his plate.

"He's trying, honey. He's just stuck at the airport. I promise you he wants to be here right now, there's just nothing he can do," Kate tries to explain for the fourth time today. Castle has been gone for five days, wouldn't agree to more than that and Paula practically had to twist his arm to get him on board with that much. He hated leaving during the Christmas season, she knows that. But he was supposed to make it back in time, should have been back yesterday but his agent extended his tour for a day without telling him and now their kids are asking why he isn't here on Christmas Eve.

She knows in her heart that Castle is probably just as torn up about this as they all are, chances are even more so. He would never miss it unless there was truly nothing he could do.

On all days, it just had to be Christmas.

He hasn't answered her last few messages and so she hopes that means things are finally moving, that he might be on his way home but she doesn't want to get her hopes up, his phone could also have just died.

The thought of putting the kids to bed without him is honestly eating her up inside and she doesn't know what she'll do if he isn't back by tomorrow morning to open up presents. She'll still have to set everything up, put the presents under the tree and make sure the glass of milk has been emptied and the cookies eaten.

But doing it all without him feels wrong somehow.

It's Christmas Eve and the four of them - her kids and herself included - are moping without him.

"What do you guys say we watch a movie before we head to bed?" Kate suggests, doing her best to come up with a solution to lift their spirits on what is supposed to be the most magical night of the year.

"Won't Santa know we aren't sleeping?" Reece asks, confused.

"He will, which is why he won't pass by our place for a while. Santa only drops off presents when everyone is asleep," Kate reasons. The twins nod, seem to accept the explanation.

They pick up everything from supper and head to the couch, without much excitement, dragging their feet and Kate wishes she could fix this, that she could just bring Castle home to them for Christmas. But she's just as helpless as he is, stuck in that airport in LA. All they can do is hope the storm passes and that he'll be home by morning.

"Can we watch _A Charlie Brown Christmas_?" Reece offers, plopping down on the couch next to Lily and pulling up one of the blankets to cover them.

"What do you guys think?" Kate looks to Lily and Jake for their opinions. The last thing she needs is for there to be a fight about which movie they are watching, so she makes sure everyone is on board. Both Jake and Lily nod unenthusiastically. She has a feeling it has nothing to do with Reece's movie selection and all to do with the fact that their father isn't home for Christmas.

* * *

When he finally walks through the door of the loft, it's nearing two in the morning. He expects everyone to be in bed already given the late – or early – hour, but he notices the Christmas lights are still on and he hears the faint sound of the television playing in the living room.

Castle walks over to find his wife curled up with Lily, Jake and Reece on the couch, all asleep and the movie Elf still rolling on the screen. Kate had mentioned they hadn't wanted to go to bed without him but he had assumed she'd convince them to go to sleep given all that they have planned tomorrow. He leaves his suitcase by the office and walks back to the couch, crouching down to their level and sifting his fingers through Lily's hair. She starts to wake, her eyes opening slowly.

"Daddy?" She asks, her voice slurred with sleep and he can't help but grin. God he's so happy to be home.

"It's me, sweetheart." Lily's eyes snap open at the sound of his voice and she throws herself into his arms.

"You're home!" His daughter's excitement seems to wake the rest of his family and he hears a collective gasp from his sons before they jump into his arms as well. "Daddy!"

Rick looks up to find Kate looking at him with a wide smile. She doesn't care what the kids will think when she leans down and captures his lips with hers, ignores the groans in the background. He made it. That's all that matters.

"Merry Christmas, Castle."


	24. The Christmas Song

_The Christmas Song_

* * *

The kids have been bouncing around all day, excited about the toys they received from Santa and looking forward to showing them off to their Gram, Grandpa Jim and Alexis when they come over for dinner. They should all begin to arrive in about thirty minutes now.

"Momma, I need help with my dress!" Lily calls from upstairs, knowing Kate is in the kitchen trying to finish everything up with Castle.

She lets her forehead fall against his shoulder in defeat. "We'll never be done in time for when they get here," Kate groans.

"Hey, it's fine. Everyone will understand. We're hosting with three kids, no one is expecting this to be perfect. I'm sure Alexis and your Dad will be happy to lend a hand with what's left when they get here."

A remote-controlled helicopter whizzes right past their heads and Kate startles, ducks out of reflex not to get hit in the face.

"Dad, look! I finally got it!" Jake exclaims from the living room with the controller in his hands.

"That's great, my man. But remember I told you, not in the kitchen okay? It's dangerous while your Mom and I are cooking."

Jake nods and steers the toy away from them, back towards the living room.

Castle turns his head towards her and lifts her chin up with his index finger, laying a gentle kiss to her lips. "It's going to be okay," he whispers and she sighs, feels the corners of her mouth tug upward slightly. He's right. Their family won't judge them if they aren't completely ready with Christmas dinner and this really shouldn't be anything stressful.

"Thanks." She reaches up on her toes, not wearing her heels yet and presses another kiss to his lips.

"Always," he answers with a grin.

"Mom!" Lily calls again from upstairs and she huffs.

"Now go help our daughter with her dress, I've got everything covered down here."

She's halfway up the stairs when she hears a violent crash behind her, what sounds like glass shattering. "Oops," Jake mumbles guiltily, looking down at the broken pieces of a vase spread out below his helicopter.

Kate pinches the bridge of her nose but before she can move back down the stairs Castle is already there. "I've got it, it's okay. Go help Lily."

She hesitates for a moment but nods, walks the remaining distance up the stairs to find her daughter.

"Mom, it broke," Lily informs her, her bottom lip already trembling when she enters the room.

"What? How come?" She asks, moving towards Lily and kneeling down to her level.

"I was trying to pull up the zipper by myself when you weren't coming upstairs and I pulled too hard." Her voice shakes as she explains what happened, and Kate motions for her to turn around so she can assess the damage.

It seems like the end of the zipper is broken but she might still be able to pull it up for Lily to wear this dress tonight.

"Gram is going to hate me." Lily is facing away from her but Kate knows from experience by the sound of her voice and the shaking of her shoulders that she's crying. "I promised her I would wear this dress for Christmas, she got it for me as a gift."

Kate tugs at the end of the zipper, once, twice, three times and it finally gives, moves up the length of her daughter's spine. It was just stuck in the material.

"You fixed it?" Lily turns to her, wonder in her voice when she feels the dress tighten around her body.

Kate nods, smiling. "We'll still have to get this zipper fixed but you can wear it tonight."

"Thank you!" Lily throws her arm around her in a hug, unknowingly also providing Kate with the comfort she didn't know she needed tonight.

"You're welcome, sweetheart." She holds on tight to her ever-growing little girl. "Also, I never want to hear you say that your Gram will hate you. That will never happen, you hear me?" Kate says as she pulls back and her daughter nods.

"Merry Christmas!" Kate hears her father's voice from downstairs as he's probably just arrived with no one to greet him, seeing as she is still upstairs helping Lily and Rick was most probably still cleaning up the broken glass in the living room.

"Grandpa's here!" Reece exclaims, rushing down the stairs to see Jim waiting at the door and Lily scurries past her, out of her room to do the same.

Kate makes her way down the stairs in time to see her father pulling Rick in for a hug, all three of their kids bouncing around them by the front door, eager to tell their Grandpa about the gifts Santa brought them.

"Merry Christmas, Katie," he greets, holding her tight when she reaches them and she lets the familiar feel of her father's arms around her calm her nerves, giving her the boost of energy she needs to believe that everything will alright after all.

"Oh my, it looks like we're right on time!" Martha chimes in from behind Jim, Alexis standing by her side and hugging the kids as they jump for joy at the arrival of the rest of their family.

Alexis and Jim help finish up the final touches on dinner - Castle insists that Martha stay out of the kitchen so she and the kids set up the table together while Kate pours everyone drinks. They manage to get everything ready in no time, much faster than she and Castle would have alone and of course, he was right: no one in their family seems to care about the fact that this isn't the perfect reception.

"Momma, Lexi made my favorite cake for desert!" Jake tells her excitedly as she hands him a glass of sparkling apple cider.

"Wow! I hope you thanked her, that must have been a lot of work," Kate suggests, just to make sure her son hasn't forgotten his manners.

"I did. And I gave her a big hug too," he nods. Kate smiles and runs her fingers through his hair.

Good boy.

Jake heads back to the kitchen and she's about to do the same, help her Dad set the turkey on table but she feels familiar arms wrap around her middle.

"Hey, you okay?" Castle whispers in her ear, laying a soft kiss to her neck. Her smile widens and she turns in his arms, loops hers around his neck, pulling him close.

"You were right. It's perfect like this," she admits leaning in to steal a kiss from his lips.

"Every Christmas with you and our family is perfect, Kate."

* * *

 _ **A/N: I would like to take the time to personally thank all of you for reading my stories this year and sharing your love and passion for these beautiful characters. It is an honour and privilege to write for this fandom and I hope you'll join me for new stories to come. It was a pleasure to write these little stories and glimpses into the Caskett family life during the holiday season, I hope you all enjoyed them! Thank you all again and a very Merry Christmas to all who celebrate! Happy holidays! -Zoe**_

 _Twitter: ZoeKeller_

Tumblr: zkalways


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